In a world teeming with crappy first dates, it seems more impossible than ever to meet a so-called normal guy. I’m so used to meeting strangers for drinks that go nowhere that the concept of a second date seems totally weird. Is it too much to ask for a normal date? Here’s what I’m asking for, and I don’t think it’s too crazy at all:
- I’m tired of the surprises. Things haven’t changed much since the Sex and the City episode “The Freak Show” where Carrie and her BFFs lamented how totally strange all their dates were. I’m still so sick of getting last-minute surprises on dates. Suddenly the guy sitting across from me isn’t as cool and nice and funny as I thought — he’s the ultimate creep and weirdo. Why does this happen?
- I know I’m amazing. I’ve worked on myself for so long that I don’t think there’s anything more I can do. I’m here, ready for you with my amazing career, ambition and confidence. My head is on straight. I don’t think it’s insane to expect the same from you.
- I try my best. I show you my sparkling personality on a first date and instead of getting the same thing in return, I get one-word answers — or worse, total silence. Why is it so rare to go on a date where an actual conversation happens?
- I keep going even when I don’t want to. If it was up to me, I’d snap my fingers, be in a great relationship and never have to even utter the word “Tinder” ever again. Since that’s not happening, I’m still going on dates despite how much I want to stay home. If I can keep going, you can be normal on a first date. Seriously.
- I hide my weirdness. I’m not saying I’m perfect. I’ve got my quirks and neurotic tendencies but I hide them, especially when I meet you for the first time. Why can’t you do the same? It’s just first date common sense.
- I’m realistic. I don’t expect you to propose immediately or be my insta-boyfriend. I get that real connections take time to build and that we all bring our own stuff to each new relationship. If you act like I’m crazy for wanting a decent date, sorry, but being realistic isn’t a crime.
- I’m tired of asking. I’m sick of asking the universe to bring me a nice guy who can hold a conversation, respect my opinions and have some of his own, too. I want to meet my person already so I can stop thinking about how awful dating is.
- I’ve seen it all. If I spent more time thinking about all the crap that I’ve seen on dates, I wouldn’t be able to survive, so it’s best for me to try to ignore my first date history. If I can go on more dates with the horrors I’ve witnessed, I think that you can be normal. It’s really not too much to ask.