A few years have passed since my best friend made me choose between her and my boyfriend of a year, but I still remember it like it was yesterday — and I totally made the right decision and ditched her. Now, I’m drama-free and in a serious relationship with said boyfriend — we have an apartment together and a cat, which obviously makes it official — and I don’t regret a thing.
She was jealous of the time I spent with him.
It’s reasonable to get jealous when your best friend suddenly starts hanging out with her boyfriend more than with you, but it’s unreasonable to be so jealous that you look for ways to attack him and destroy your friend’s relationship. In retrospect, the fact that she made me choose makes me think she was trying to break us up from the beginning.
She had always been the overly-dramatic type.
My best friend was one of those people who could take an ordinary day and turn it into a freakshow. She always had a million stories and made my life seem uneventful by comparison. But after a while, I realized her life only seemed action-packed because of how dramatic she was. She was concerned with unimportant and frivolous things from the very beginning, so it’s no surprise she was able to dramatize another situation and make my boyfriend seem like the bad guy.
She was skewing reality.
Somehow, my friend had been able to take offense when there was nothing to be offended by. She was claiming that my boyfriend had insulted her, and said she couldn’t stand him. However, I heard both sides of the story and couldn’t see how my boyfriend upset her. Her arguments made zero sense and she had no evidence.
She blew a misunderstanding out of proportion.
Not only was she making accusations, but she also refused to listen to reason. I tried fixing the situation by explaining that everything between her and my boyfriend was just a misunderstanding and he had no bad feelings, but she didn’t want to hear it. It was a small issue and could have been fixed with a short phone conversation.
She was being childish.
The thing she felt most insulted by was so immature that I thought we were back in grade school. At this point, I questioned our friendship. Did I really want to be friends with someone who acted like they were five years old? I realized that while I had spent the past few years growing as an individual, she was still stuck in high school.
She talked about me behind my back.
Here’s a helpful hint when you’re pissed at your best friend: don’t start talking about her behind her back to her sister. Not only was she insulting me behind my back, but it seemed like she was also trying to get my sister to take sides (she was pretty close with the rest of my family at this point). Of course, my sister was going to tell me everything because that’s what family does, but that’s how I found out about the insults.
She said things she couldn’t take back.
When you’re angry, that’s when the truth comes out. She basically just said that she hoped we would break up, despite knowing how close I had become to my boyfriend. I found that to be one of the nastiest things anyone has ever said to me, even to this day, and I can never forget it.
I couldn’t value our friendship anymore.
After witnessing everything that had happened in only a matter of days, I realized I was just done with this friendship. It had gone south really quick, and I knew I could never look at her the same way again — not after all the things she had said that she had absolutely no reason for saying.
My boyfriend had remained calm, honest, and understanding.
He also felt bad that he was involved and thought he was the reason for why I was losing my best friend. Of course he wasn’t, but his maturity helped me realize that he was the right one for me, and he was a good guy in general. I realized we had more in common than I had with my friend, and I’m glad I stuck with him and not her. In the end, I know I made the right choice, and I don’t regret ditching her for a second.
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