All breakups suck, even if you’re the one who initiated the split. However, there’s nothing more devastating than when your boyfriend dumps you out of nowhere when you thought everything was going well. If this happens to you, don’t despair. Take a deep breath, give yourself a bit of space to feel your feelings, and then follow these tips to cope.
- Accept and respect his opinion. Even if you don’t agree with the way your boyfriend dumped you or the fact that he did it at all, that doesn’t change the fact that it happened and that his decision is likely final. You might want to cry, kick, scream, fight, or any number of other things to revolt against the way he broke your heart, but stop. It’s important that you not only accept his opinion but respect it. After all, you wouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you, right?
- Ask for closure. If you truly were taken by surprise, you have every right to ask your former boyfriend why he dumped you and what led to his decision. Ensure that you’re not accusatory or confrontational when you ask this question or you’re unlikely to get the closure you need (or any at all). The more you can understand why the relationship wasn’t working for him, the easier it will be to come to terms with what happened and move on.
- Give him his stuff back. If you have a bunch of his stuff lying around your house, you need to return it. This doesn’t have to be some grand, dramatic gesture but it does need to happen for your sake more than his. Having a house full of stuff belonging to the boyfriend who dumped you will do nothing for your broken heart or your recovery prospects. Out of sight, out of mind, right?
- Go no contact. After you return his things, it’s vital that you go no contact. Remove his accounts from all your social media following lists, take his number out of your phone, and basically try to forget he exists. That’s not exactly going to be possible, especially not at first, but the last thing you need is the temptation to reach out or constant reminders about the fact that you’re no longer together.
- Get a life of your own again. Now that you’re on your own again, you have to see it as a positive. Think of the big, wide world out there and what an incredible life you can build all on your own. You might not feel ready for that just yet, but keep hope alive. There’s so much amazing stuff out there for you, and so many amazing people you’ve yet to meet. You’ve got this.
