My boyfriend’s best friend wasn’t every someone I perceived as a threat to our relationship. She wasn’t interested in romantically, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t a whole lot of trouble. In fact, she went so far as to try and break us up!
They’d been friends since, like, forever.
They literally grew up together and were really tight, but I didn’t think their friendship would impact our relationship in any way. After all, if they were ever going to date, they would have done so by the time my boyfriend and I met.
He let me meet her right away.
Soon after we’d started dating, my boyfriend told me about his best friend who was more like a sister to him. He also said he wanted me to meet her. I thought this was good since it showed he was open about their close friendship.
She was awesome.
Here’s the thing that really threw me for a loop: his bestie wasn’t mean or nasty to me. She was such an awesome, down-to-earth person! She and I actually hit it off from the moment we met and I couldn’t believe my luck at having found an amazing boyfriend and an amazing new friend!
She started acting shady.
Once she and I met, we started to connect without my boyfriend being present or invited to outings. He was totally fine with this and actually loved the fact that his girlfriend and closest friend were getting along so well. He did happen to mention that the previous women he’d dated hadn’t liked her, but I couldn’t seem to understand why. I mean, she was awesome.
She started “backhanding” my boyfriend.
So, you know when someone gives you a backhanded compliment, such as by saying your hair looks great even though your hairstylist could’ve cut it better? Or your dress looks stunning on you… even though you don’t have the right body type for it apparently? Well, this girl started doing that kind of thing, not about me but about my boyfriend. Weird.
She was always putting him down.
She’d say things about him like, “You know, he’s such a great guy, which is surprising because he can be a jerk at times” or “I’m so glad he’s got a girlfriend, even though I sometimes feel sorry you have to deal with him!” It was sometimes weird and cryptic. I’d be thinking, “Whoa, why would she feel sorry for me? What’s wrong with him?” I’d try to get her to explain, but she never did.
She was trying to put me off him.
I didn’t realize it at the time that she was actually trying to put me off my boyfriend. She wanted me to think he wasn’t the right guy for me. I had a light-bulb moment that she was doing this when she took her backhanded compliments a little too far.
She told me I was better than him.
One night she and I had met for drinks after work and my boyfriend couldn’t attend because he was working late. Halfway into the evening, she said, “He’s such a lucky guy to have you… but you’re so out of his league!” I’d had enough about this and asked her what she meant. She told me that she didn’t think he and I would work out.
She went on to say that she thought I was too good for him and he could be a jerk. I asked her to explain further, but she backtracked, saying she felt bad to talk negatively about him. The next day, I found out from my boyfriend that she had talked to him about how amazing he was. What game was she playing?!
I told him what she’d been doing.
I couldn’t go on faking how amazing she was. My boyfriend was always saying how much he trusted her and cared about her that I felt I had to tell him what she was doing. Sadly, he didn’t believe me.
Her strategy had worked.
He and I had a huge fight. He said I was just like his exes, putting his bestie down and trying to pit him and her against each other. I realized that this was exactly what she had wanted, what she had planned to achieve! I told him this but he just dismissed my claims as though I were delusional.
He dumped me.
I was in the crazy box with his exes. Great. Our relationship didn’t survive for much longer after that, but I was glad in a way. Did I want to be with someone who didn’t believe me? Sure, his bestie had tried to break us up, maybe because she loved him or because she was jealous of him having someone, but he had allowed it to happen. I need someone who’ll fight for me.
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