When my ex and I broke up, honestly I felt really relieved. I was so sick and tired of dealing with his drama that I just wanted to run as far away as possible. But his parents were trying to hold me back. It was so freaky. Here’s what happened.
I knew and loved his folks.
A few weeks into our relationship, my ex said that he liked me so much he wanted me to meet his folks. No pressure – no, really. It felt right for me to meet them and I was so pleased that they liked me. His mom and I particularly got along well. It was like gaining a friend in addition to having a boyfriend.
Unfortunately, they became like weeds.
You know how weeds can be quite invasive in the garden as they strive to take over? Well, that’s what his parents felt like after a while. When my ex and I were going through relationship issues, his parents would try to get involved by telling him what to do or how to react. It was creepy.
They didn’t contribute to our breakup.
Although it seems that way, his parents didn’t make me want to end things with my ex. We had enough of our own relationship problems to deal with. He was always lying to me and acting like a single guy, which made me feel like he didn’t really want to be with me. After a few months of being on the receiving end of this behavior, I couldn’t take it anymore and told him I wanted to end things.
I wasn’t expecting the parental backlash.
After our breakup, my ex’s clingy mother got in touch with me and told me how distraught she was that her son and I were parting ways. I could understand her feelings because I’d miss chatting to her and I appreciated her being so kind. But, it didn’t end there.
She tried to get us back together.
For a few weeks after the breakup, she would text me to say that she missed seeing me at their family’s get-togethers and she’d ask me if I wouldn’t consider getting back together with her son. She said that her husband was also keen on that to happen. Um, what? Was this about what was best for me or what they wanted? Clearly, it was the latter.
I tried to be firm.
I didn’t want to upset them or seem heartless, but I really needed to make it clear that I wasn’t going to get back together with their son. I needed self-preservation boundaries here! I explained this to my ex’s mom but she wouldn’t let it go. Then she changed tack.
She invited me to coffee with her.
One day, she and her husband happened to be in the area where I was living at the time and she asked if I’d like to meet them for a quick coffee. I didn’t see any harm in this, but I wish I hadn’t gone.
My ex was there.
As I saw my ex sitting at the table with his parents, I got the mad urge to run back to my car and drive back home but I knew I couldn’t. As I said hello to everyone including my ex, I realized this had been a setup. This was his and his parents’ way of trying to get us back together. During that coffee, I felt nauseous at how his mom kept trying to build him up as though I would change my mind about the breakup. She kept talking about how he was doing so well in his job. Ugh.
I had to make a clean break.
After that awkward coffee meeting, I knew I couldn’t go on like this. I had to end things with his parents. It sounded so weird, but my friendship with them was holding me back. They couldn’t seem to let go of my relationship with their son and it was convenient because they had had me to deal with his drama so they didn’t have to. But I was done.
I said goodbye.
I texted my ex’s mom and told her I had to make a clean break so I could move on with my life. Sometimes a clean break is the only way to get over someone and their drama. Luckily, she said she understood so there were no hard feelings. I also cut out my ex by deleting his number from my phone and deleting him from my social media accounts. It felt amazing and I wish I’d done it sooner.
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