My Friend Set Me Up With A Guy And Then Dated Him Behind My Back

I was hopelessly single and had been for a while, so when my friend encouraged me to date a guy she knew, my interest was piqued. However, I noticed she was always singing his praises a little too much, which made me wonder if she was the one who wanted to be with him. I decided she was just enthusiastic about setting us up, but then she decided to go in for the kill.

  1. I thought she was a great friend for wanting to set me up with a fantastic guy. She told me she knew a really sweet guy and she wanted us to meet because she thought we’d be great together. I usually hate being set up because it never works, but I decided to give it a chance. Frankly, I wish I’d stuck to my guns and said no.
  2. My dating life was a total mess at that point. I’d been going through a really bad patch when it came to meeting men. I was just attracting all the losers and heartbreakers and I needed a change, so I thought I’d give this setup a try.
  3. She showed him a photo of me before we met up. I hated that she showed him a pic of me before he and I went on a date. It felt like we were in high school or something. However, she said that he thought I was attractive and was keen to meet up with me.
  4. Closer to the time, I got cold feet. As the date came closer, I started to worry. Was I really ready for another date? I was perpetually unlucky in love. What if this guy hurt me just like the others had? What would happen to the relationship with my friend if things went badly with this guy?
  5. My friend reassured me that everything was okay. Actually, she pretty much encouraged me to stop overthinking everything and to give this guy a chance because she thought we’d make a fantastic couple. She also reassured me about the kind of guy he was. She told me he was amazing and went on and on about what a standup boyfriend he would be.
  6. She was right. I met the guy and he really was amazing. We had a great first date and discovered that we had loads in common. I enjoyed spending time with him and he had such sexy tattoos, it was hard not to picture him without his shirt on. Anyway, I reported back to my friend… and she didn’t seem that excited anymore.
  7. Wait, what’s going on? She had been selling me on him for so long, I couldn’t help but feel a little rattled by how she didn’t seem happy that my date with him had gone well. She just said that it was good news but then didn’t speak to me for a while. I started to wonder if he told her that he didn’t like me and she felt awkward about breaking the news to me. This was why I hate it when friends try to set me up on dates!
  8. I met up with her to talk about it. I told her it was clear that he didn’t like me and she shouldn’t feel awkward about it. I mean, the guy hadn’t even called me after our date, so it was clear that he didn’t feel the same. I really didn’t want it to ruin my friendship with her, so I wanted to put it all behind us.
  9. She then confessed. She said she was sorry but that I should know that she and the guy had started dating. Um, what? Apparently, she had feelings for him for a while and thought that by setting me up with him, she’d finally get over him. Instead, what happened was that she’d actually fallen even harder for him when faced with the thought of losing him to someone else.
  10. I felt like a third wheel in the worst way. They started dating and yes, he confessed to feeling the same about her. So there I was, feeling like the most twisted type of a third wheel – it’s like I’d been used so that they could’ve got together or something. It just felt so manipulative on my friend’s part.
  11. It wasn’t about the guy. I didn’t care about not getting the guy. I’d survive. I just didn’t like that my friend had been so dishonest and devious. Why tell me how great he’d be for me if you’re secretly harboring feelings for him? It’s sick! That’s not what friends do. Needless to say, we’re not friends anymore.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.