My Happily Ever After Is With Myself & I’m OK With That

Pretty much every guy I’ve dated has disappointed me, so I’ve had no choice but to focus the time and energy I was giving them on myself instead. At this point, I can’t ever imagine loving a guy as much as I love myself, and I’m just fine with that.

Independence is key in any relationship, even the one with yourself.

I know the person I need right now is me. I trust myself, I love myself, I rely on myself. Being a strong, independent woman means that anything I need in life, I can provide for myself, no guy necessary. It feels amazing.

I’m literally my own dream husband. 

I’ve always been extremely self-sufficient and I like doing things for myself. Sure, at most times it was because I didn’t have a choice, but even when a potential relationship pops up in my life these days, I know it’s not necessary. I’m not cold-hearted or reclusive; I had a wonderful mother who showed me a lot of love, but she also taught me never to rely on a man for anything. I can change a tire, I move heavy things, I earn my own money, and I can do basically anything else a man could possibly do for me (and if I can’t, I’ll learn). What more do I need?

Everyone judges me for being so stubborn about dating but I can’t help how I feel.

My friends and family think I have trust issues and that I’m avoiding dating because I think there’s no one out there for me. They’re absolutely right. I don’t want to get hurt and I do have issues and it’s easier to avoid it than to chance it. I totally get why that’s so hard for my coupled up loved ones to understand, but this is just the way things go. I’ve been there and I’ve been happy, but I’ve also been in my room at three a.m. crying myself to sleep because of a selfish, no good guy. I’d rather not go there again.

Going back to being independent after a heartbreak is so hard, so why risk it?

No one can convince me to go through another painful, lonely breakup—I’ve had enough of those to last me a lifetime. People say that they get easier but I know from experience that’s BS. It’s devastating to go through a breakup and have to pretend like you’re fine. My heart is happy when it’s just me, you know?

I’m pretty sure my dream man doesn’t even exist.

I’m sure there’s a smart, sexy guy out there who might be a great boyfriend that would love me well and never hurt me. I fantasize about it occasionally, but then I realize that I’d lose so much by getting into a relationship. I enjoy going to movies and going to lunch alone and now I would have to worry about inviting my BF or making sure he’s OK with me not inviting him (which I’m sure he wouldn’t be). There’s no guy who will ever be able to live up to my expectations in love, and I’m well aware of that.

I don’t have room in my heart for someone else.

Personally, I feel so in love with myself and the woman I’ve become that I couldn’t imagine making room for someone else. I get that it sounds like I’m full of myself and that I’m a selfish person, but that’s not it at all. I love my friends and my family and I help them whenever I can. I just know that I’ll always be my number one priority and I like it that way.

Most relationships end in breakups or divorce anyway.

I always wonder why everyone is so certain that their relationship is going to last forever. I’m not trying to be negative or anything, I’m just realistic and I’m well aware that more often than not, people don’t stay together for life. The odds just aren’t in our favor like that.

My life is complete the way it is and I’m truly happy.

Most people don’t believe me when I say that I’m happy rolling solo. They think I’m acting like this because I don’t want to put in the effort for a relationship. Honestly, I don’t see what’s wrong with me not wanting to put in the effort. Who cares? It’s my life and I can do and not do whatever I want. That’s the point of being independent, isn’t it?

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