The modern world of dating seems to have perils and pitfalls around every corner. At times, it even seems more like a role playing game than it does an actual way to find a boyfriend or a husband. Just like with any old school RPG, mythical creatures of all sorts can be found on sites like Tinder or OKCupid. You might have noticed these 10 common mythological beings in your dating life already.
On the dating profile, he looked amazing. In fact, you’d go so far as to say that he looked like Hugh Jackman crossed with Leonardo DiCaprio. When you met him, though, it was a different story. In real life, he looked like a walrus crossed with roadkill. This mythical creature, also known as the Catfish, is one that is all too common in online dating.
He sounds enthusiastic online and over the phone. However, as soon as you two meet up in person, it seems like he’s going through the motions. The Zombie’s wild fiery flames of passion extinguish the moment he meets you, and his vocabulary shrinks down to a handful of words.
The Great Silverback.
He’s almost your dad’s age, has grey hair, and he’s hitting on you! Most commonly seen in college bars trying to pass himself off as 30, the Great Silverback preys on naive girls who don’t know any better. A true straggler in the dating scene, the effects of the Great Silverback’s diet of bar wings and beer ensure that he’ll be most unattractive to the more experienced girls in his environment. Should you see the Great Silverback, do not make eye contact, and do not call him out on his age. He may fly into a geriatric rage and break a hip!
This is the female version of the nightmare date from hell. Harpies are known for getting drunk on a first date, getting belligerent at the drop of a hat, and causing a scene. Woe is the poor man who has come across a harpy, for he will not be able to save face in front of his friends.
This is the male version of the nightmare date from hell. Jackasses are known for their display of plumage in the form of Ed Hardy shirts, and for their obsession with the gym. Loud, belligerent, self-centered, and potentially violent, the Jackass is one creature women should avoid at all costs.
From the waist up, he’s all man. From the waist down, it’s all horse. Should you cross paths with a Centaur, you may end up walking funny the next day.
These foul creatures are the bane of every true romantic’s existence. All they care about is annoying, hurting, or otherwise messing with people on dating sites. They don’t do it for any reason other than their own personal enjoyment, or because they actually want to coerce people into having sex. Trolls are currently the number one reason people drop Internet dating.
He seems perfect when you initially meet him. At first, he opens the door for you, pays for dinner, offers wine pairing choices, and even brings you flowers. Then, at the drop of a hat, he turns into a total monster before your very eyes.
Now you see him and hear from him, now you don’t! Spooky… and aggravating. The ghost is never fully there to begin with, but you don’t realize it until even his shadow disappears.
The White Unicorn.
This is the guy who we’re all searching for. He’s a great lover, he’s actually into the girl he’s with, he’s loyal, and he’s a genuinely good person who wants a commitment. Alas, it seems mythical for too many of us.
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