While we all have our own ideas about romance (thanks, Disney movies!), narcissists take these beliefs to a whole new level of… well, let’s just say interesting. If you’ve ever dated one or know someone who has, you’re probably nodding your head already. Let’s dive into some of their most mind-bending beliefs about love that’ll make you go “Wait, what?”
1. They Think Partners Are Just Status Symbols
For narcissists, picking a partner is like choosing an accessory for their personal brand. They’re not looking for someone to share Sunday morning coffee with—they want someone who makes them look good on Instagram. Think of it like they’re casting for their personal reality show, where their partner’s main job is to make them look impressive to their “audience.” If their partner isn’t generating enough likes and envious glances, they might start shopping for a new season’s model.
2. They Think They Deserve Absolute Perfection
Ever met someone who expects their partner to be a supermodel, rocket scientist, and master chef all rolled into one? That’s your typical narcissist’s shopping list for love. They’re out here expecting their partner to be flawless like they’re ordering a custom-made robot rather than dating an actual human being. Heaven forbid their partner has a bad hair day or burns the toast—it’s practically a relationship crisis. The bar is set so high even Olympic pole vaulters couldn’t clear it.
3. They Think Love Should Be Effortless (For Them)
Get this—they genuinely believe relationships should run like a self-driving car, but only from their end. While their partner is expected to work harder than a barista during the morning rush, they think their mere presence in the relationship is enough effort. They’ll sit back like they’re on a romantic cruise while their partner’s paddling the boat, planning the route, and watching for icebergs. It’s like they think they’ve got a lifetime “get out of relationship work free” card just for being their fabulous selves.
4. They Think Love Is a Game They Have to Win
For narcissists, relationships aren’t about connection—they’re about keeping score. They treat love like it’s the relationship Olympics, complete with mental gymnastics and emotional hurdles. Every argument needs a winner, every decision is a competition, and compromise is basically admitting defeat. They’re out here playing chess while their partner’s just trying to enjoy a nice game of Candyland. The wild part? They think turning love into a battlefield makes them the champion.
5. They Think Drama Equals Deep Love
You know how some people think a quiet evening at home is boring? Well, narcissists take that to the extreme. They believe if there isn’t enough drama to fuel a reality TV show, the relationship must be dead. They’ll create chaos just to “spice things up,” convinced that constant emotional rollercoasters mean passionate love. It’s like they’ve confused toxic drama with romantic intensity—think less “The Notebook” and more “Jersey Shore.”
6. They Think Everything Revolves Around Them
Picture someone watching their own movie where they’re the star, director, AND entire audience—that’s how narcissists view love. They genuinely believe relationships should be like having a personal fan club, with them as the featured attraction. While most of us think of love as a two-way street, they’re cruising down a one-way boulevard with all traffic headed straight toward them. They’re expecting standing ovations for basic human decency while treating their partner’s needs like optional side quests in their epic love story. It’s exhausting just thinking about it, right?
7. They Think Grand Gestures Fix Everything
Why work on emotional connection when you can just buy an expensive gift, right? That’s the narcissist’s motto. They believe dropping big money on presents or making dramatic declarations of love (usually in public, with an audience) makes up for all the day-to-day emotional neglect. They’re like that friend who forgets your birthday but then buys you something super expensive to make up for it— except they do this with everything in the relationship.
8. They Think Their Happiness Is Priority #1, #2, and #3
Imagine someone who thinks relationship satisfaction is a pie, and they deserve not just the biggest slice, but the whole dang thing. They genuinely believe their happiness should be the relationship’s prime directive, like some sort of romantic Star Trek mission. Their partner’s joy? That’s more like an optional side quest in their video game of love. If they’re happy, everyone should be happy—and if they’re not, well, sound the alarm!
9. They Think Possession Is Better Than Connection
For narcissists, having someone is way more important than actually knowing them. They treat relationships like collecting Pokemon— it’s all about capturing and owning. They’d rather have a partner they can control than one they truly connect with. Deep conversations? Emotional intimacy? Nah, they’re more interested in knowing where their partner is at all times and who they’re talking to. It’s less “let’s grow together” and more “let me add you to my collection.”
10. They Think Love Excuses Everything
Here’s a fun one—they actually believe saying “but I love you” is like having a universal “get out of jail free” card. Did they forget your birthday? “But I love you!” Did they flirt with your best friend? “You know I love you!” They use love as their go-to excuse like it’s some magical eraser for bad behavior. It’s the relationship equivalent of “the dog ate my homework,” except they use it for everything.
11. They Think They’re Always Right About Love
Try telling a narcissist they might be wrong about something in the relationship. Go ahead, I’ll wait. These folks genuinely believe they’ve got a PhD in love while everyone else is still in kindergarten. They could write a book called “How to Be Right About Everything in Love, Even When You’re Totally Wrong.” Their partner could present a PowerPoint presentation with charts and graphs showing their mistakes, and they’d still argue they’re right.
12. They Think Love Is a Competitive Sport
Narcissists don’t just want a great relationship—they need to have THE BEST relationship, at least on paper. They’re constantly comparing their love life to others like they’re rating restaurants on Yelp. Your anniversary dinner at a nice local place? They’ll plan a helicopter ride to a Michelin-star restaurant just to one-up you. They’re not just keeping up with the Joneses; they’re trying to make the Joneses look like amateurs in the love department.
13. They Think Affection Is a Currency”
In their world, love and affection are like Bitcoin—something to be traded and invested for maximum return. They’ll dole out affection like they’re a bank approving loans, complete with terms and conditions. A hug? That’ll cost you complete agreement with their latest crazy idea. A compliment? You’ll need to praise them for at least 20 minutes first. They’ve turned love into a transaction where they’re always the banker.
14. They Think Compromise Is For Lesser Mortals
Here’s the grand finale of narcissistic love beliefs—they genuinely think compromise is something only other people need to do. Meeting in the middle? That’s for peasants! In their mind, a perfect relationship is one where they never have to change their plans, preferences, or Netflix queue. They view flexibility as something to avoid at all costs. Their idea of compromise is their partner doing exactly what they want, just more slowly.
