Here’s What You Need To Do Before You Fall In Love Again

Being single isn’t always fun, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be productive. Before you jump into your next relationship, use your solo time to do these things that will help you both as an individual and as someone’s future partner:

  1. Create your own happiness. Being able to cultivate your own happiness is absolutely necessary, especially if you want to have a functional relationship. Your partner has his own life; you can’t constantly expect him to be there for you whenever you need it. When you learn to satisfy yourself you’ll take loads of pressure off him and your relationship.
  2. Learn to really and truly love yourself, flaws and all. How can you expect someone to love you if you don’t love yourself? A good relationship starts with two people who are completely happy with themselves. You need to give yourself the confidence to know that no matter what happens, you’re awesome. This way, you’ll be able to fully appreciate each other while still appreciating yourself.
  3. Take the time to enjoy being alone. You and your future partner will both have your own life, career and friends. That means that sometimes you’ll both be out with your own friends or away for business… and away from each other. Learning to be okay with that instead of clinging to him will allow you to enjoy each other’s company while you have it. Relax, throw on a face mask, and learn to enjoy some quality ‘you time’ while you’re still single.
  4. Find your strength. Strength and confidence aren’t only the key to success in your next relationship, but your success as a human. Any strong woman knows that the best relationships come from two people having the ability to stand on their own. If you can manage to be strong before you’re in a relationship, it’ll be that much easier when you’re in one.
  5. Discover what you really want. Being single can help you fully understand exactly what you want out of life and a relationship. If you want a hookup buddy, own it. If you want to get married, you’ll probably want to stay away from the late-night-text guys. Being clear on your goals and desires will help you find your match. Plus it saves you the heartache of finding a guy you love, only to realize down the road that you don’t want the same things.
  6. Master communicating in a mature way. Almost all issues in relationships come down to poor communication. Somewhere along the way, we start to believe that we can’t be honest about how we’re feeling because we’re afraid of getting made fun of, rejected, or not taken seriously. We’ve all been guilty of taking the easy way out once or twice by running away when things get real, so learning to communicate with people maturely will help your life and relationships immensely.
  7. Become financially independent. As much as we all wish it weren’t, money is a big part of relationships. You want to be able to have your own money to spend on whatever you see fit without feeling guilty. If you’re both financially independent, you’ll take away a lot of the guilt and jealousy that comes with money, and getting there on your own will prevent any arguments before they begin.
  8. Know your worth and promise yourself that you’ll never forget it. Knowing what your worthy of is the difference between having a real, authentic relationship and having someone who treats you like garbage. If you know what you deserve, you won’t settle for anything less when you finally do meet someone you might want to date.
  9. Figure out your values and stick to them. If you never learn how to be yourself, finding a true match will be impossible. Spending your life molding into what your next boyfriend wants you to be sounds like a pretty sad way to live out your awesome existence. So stay true to yourself and make it a constant priority; you’ll eventually find a guy who loves you for exactly the way you are.
  10. Focus on your career. If everyone had a career they were happy to wake up for every morning, the world would look a lot different. You spend so much of your life at your job, so shouldn’t you like it? Feeling passionate and fulfilled with your career will make you happier in all other aspects of your life, including love.
Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.
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