I Need A Guy Who Can Cope With The Fact That I’m Late For Everything

I’m a chronically late person and have been this way my entire life, which is why I can’t date someone who takes it personally when I can’t make it to dates (or anywhere else) on time.

  1. I don’t need another parent nagging me. Every time someone criticizes me for being late, it always reminds me of my mom or dad yelling at me to hurry up or I’d miss the school bus when I was a kid. I hate it. I know that it’s not good to be late, but I’m 28. If I wanna be late, I should be allowed to make that choice for myself. I definitely don’t need my own boyfriend giving me attitude about it.
  2. It’s completely out of my control a lot of the time. It doesn’t really matter how much I prepare or make a concerted effort to get somewhere early because I don’t have control over the randomness of the universe. Sometimes subways break down, things come up, and it’s all out of my control. I don’t obsess over being on time because I know that there’s no point. Something will probably get in the way.
  3. I’m not being late to spite him. So many people think I’m being late on purpose, as if I’m doing it to purposely annoy them. If that were true, don’t you think I would think of a better way to get back at someone? Being five minutes late for dinner isn’t exactly revenge.
  4. I’m an artist—we’re always late. I spend a lot of time daydreaming and I like to leave as much time as possible for free-thinking and just… chilling. In case you’re wondering what we late people are doing instead of getting ready, it’s thinking about everything except where we have to be.
  5. I’m sure there are bigger fish to fry. If my partner gets mad at me for being late then I’m almost 99% sure that he won’t be OK with my other “careless” habits, like my messiness or my forgetfulness. I don’t have the patience to be with someone like that in the same way that he won’t have patience for me. I need to find someone who thinks these habits are charming and not totally unacceptable.
  6. People being late doesn’t bug me in the least. The thing about late people is that we’re genuinely confused when people get mad at us for being tardy because it doesn’t bother us when other people are. If someone runs in 10 minutes late, I instantly forgive them because that kind of stuff just isn’t important to me. Sure, it’s a little inconvenient, but I don’t assume that it’s because they want to personally attack me.
  7. At least I say that I’ll be late. You know, some people don’t even warn you that they’re running late and end up wasting people’s time. That’s actually pretty disrespectful, but as long as I keep people in the loop, I really don’t see a problem with it.
  8. It’s just another way of seeing time. You know what they say about time: it’s all relative. I don’t see time the way other people do and maybe it’s because I’m a freelancer who sets my own schedule. I figure that if I’m late for something, people will wait just like I would wait if a friend or boyfriend were running behind.
  9. I’m flaky as hell. When it comes to following through, I’m super bad. One reason why I’m late all the time is that I’m still deciding whether or not I want to or should go. There are almost too many options and I feel like if I don’t make the right choice, my whole evening will be ruined. I overthink things and that’s why I usually end up waltzing in right when the clock hits meeting time.
  10. I’m never going to change this habit. I’ve been like this pretty much my whole life. I’m just a late person—it’s ingrained in my DNA. I’ve tried in the past to change this about myself but it never sticks. I do all I can to be on time but it just feels like I’m not meant to be one of those people who are. Whoever I end up dating should either be the same or accept it.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.