I Need To See These Things From You Before I’ll Decide If You’re Worth It

We all deserve someone who will love us, provide for us and be there when we need him. So many guys think that the requirements stop there and that the one emotion they’re supposed to show is toughness. However, the truth is that there are so many more things I expect from a guy I’m dating. If you’re with me, you’ll need to show me these things too if you want what we have to last:

  1. Nerves on the first date. Cool, calm, and collected might work when you’re hanging with the guys, but I want to know if you have butterflies in your stomach the first time we go out because all you want to do is impress me. In fact, you should have those flutters every time we see each other because it always feels exciting and new. If it doesn’t, what’s the point?
  2. Curiosity about who I am as a person. Beyond the initial who, what, and when that starts every new relationship, I want to know if you’re interested in where I’ve been and how I became the woman you’re falling for. Show me that you’re interested in my hobbies, my fears, my likes and my dislikes. I hope you’ll want to share yours with me too.
  3. Encouragement to chase my dreams. I might not know where I’m going, but I need you to help me reach for the stars. I want to feel your enthusiasm to never stop learning about me. I want to see your face lit up with pride whenever I succeed. And for the moments when I’m at my weakest, I’ll know your confidence in me will be at its strongest. That’s what a healthy relationship is all about.
  4. Intuition to know when something isn’t right. No couple is perfect, and we’re going to have our struggles. I need to know that when you’re frustrated with me or if I’m not giving you what you need, that you’ll tell me so I can work on it. When I do the same, I hope you’ll be receptive and understanding, instead of defensive. I want you to be as determined as I am to work through our challenges together, as a team.
  5. Vulnerability when you’re hurting. Despite what society thinks, to me, real men show pain. I need you to be transparent when you’re struggling so that I can be there for you. Embrace your feelings, no matter how hard they are, because that’s the only way to work through them. Burying how you feel will only allow the negative emotions to manifest in other ways. Open up to me and I promise I’ll never judge, but instead admire you for it.
  6. Certainty when it comes to our future. I’m not looking for a temporary love. If we’re going to go all in, I need to feel, not just be told, that you’re committed to me. It will be scary, but the fear of not wanting to lose each other will only make us stronger. I want us to have each other’s back, and to be loyal no matter what; to know that we can get through anything as long as have each other.
  7. Admiration when I take your breath away. If you’re in awe of me, show me. If we’re around your friends, let your adoration shine when you introduce me. If you’re proud that I’m yours, don’t be afraid to say so. If you feel at your best with me around, let me relish in the feeling of helping you be the man you want to be.
  8. Appreciation of who I am. Not just as a partner, but as a best friend and as a person too. Genuine feelings aren’t just told, they’re felt. Show me the genuine love you have for everything about me, even the parts I try to forget. You know I’m not perfect, but you accept my flaws because they tell my story.
  9. Trust in me and in the relationship. The strongest partnerships involve two people who know how to be independent too. I need to know that you encourage and respect the things I’ll want to do on my own. That you’ll always be honest with me if you feel like other people or things are taking priority. I want to know that there is no point keeping secrets because I never have to hide anything from you.
  10. Unconditional love. This is perhaps the most cliché but it’s also the most important. We’ll both say and do things that we wish we could take back. I don’t want to be with someone who is in love with the idea of me, but someone who actually likes me as a person. If I’m going to commit myself to you and trust that you’ll be there for me in my darkest hour, I need to know that whatever drew us together will sustain you when things get tough, and that you’ll never stop discovering new quirks to adore.
We only have one chance to live this life and I'm making the most of it. I'll make plenty of mistakes along the way but each one will send me further down the right path.