Here’s Why You Need To Stay Optimistic About Love Even When It Seems Impossible

When you’ve gone out with one too many liars, players, and outright losers, it’s only natural that you’d want to give up completely. After all, flicking through Tinder every day and going on constant dates that only leave you disappointed is exhausting AF. No one can blame you for wanting take yourself off the market completely. Still, before you resign yourself to being single forever, there are some things you need to remember:

  1. Being single isn’t so terrible, and it’s likely not forever. First of all, can we talk about the giant elephant in the room? Singledom is by no means as terrible as some people would like to make it out to be. The truth of the matter is that being on your own can be seriously refreshing. It gives you a chance to get to know yourself like never before. While you’re single, it’s worth enjoying the experience rather than stressing yourself out over guys. One will come along eventually who’s worth your time and energy. Until then, enjoy it.
  2. Dating pretty much sucks for everyone. No one is denying the fact that the dating game is hard. When you’re on the hunt for love, you can easily find yourself sitting opposite guy after guy wondering what it’s all about. Rather than swearing off guys altogether, though, it’s better to realize that this whole “looking for love” thing isn’t really a walk in the park for anyone. There are genuine guys and girls out there who are just as frustrated as you are. That doesn’t make it any better, but it should be a comfort that you’re not alone.
  3. Technology is partly responsible for the state of dating, but it’s a necessary evil. Tinder might have made dating easier in some senses, but don’t be pulled in by the myth that it’s the best way to meet someone special. In truth, internet dating is a trial, to say the least. It’s hard AF. There’s too much choice out there right now, which means that finding the so-called “One” is nearly impossible. You can still meet someone in person, of course, but online dating is kinda hard to escape if you want to maximize your pool of eligible guys.
  4. Not all guys are the same. No, really.  So, you’ve dated a whole load of freaks, geeks, and weirdos. I get why you might think that the whole of the gender is screwed. I’m not blaming you, but you have to listen to me: Every guy out there is unique in his own way and not all guys are the same. It’s not fair to judge the next guy based on ones in your past. If you go into things assuming that guys suck, you’ll have some serious trouble.
  5. Maybe you’ve just been unlucky in love, but that luck can change in an instant. Urgh, I know, it’s a huge cliche. Please forgive me, but there’s some truth in this tired old phrase. You could just be unlucky in love. Life’s made up of nothing but chances. Things don’t happen for any particular reason, and there’s no laid out plan for you. As it goes, you may just have had a string of bad luck when it comes to men. Don’t let it put you off — it can and will change when you least expect it (another cliche, I know, but it exists for a reason).
  6. If you’re down on guys, you won’t find the right one. Again, much of dating is about attitude. When you walk around with a cloud over your head because too many guys have rained on your parade, it shows. All’s fair in love and war, and so you need to be robust AF if you’re gonna make it. Try to have a positive attitude. I know it’s hard, but try.
  7. You have to have realistic standards and expectations. One of the major reasons that women don’t manage to find the man of their dreams is because they treat guys like unicorns. Here’s the thing: men are no different from you or me. They’re regular people who have flaws and make mistakes, but that doesn’t make them BAD people. You don’t need to treat them like they’re a rare species; treat them as you would a friend and watch the sparks fly.
  8. Swearing guys off won’t do any good. Swearing off guys won’t change them — it will just isolate you from half of the world. Does that really sound like something you want to do? Nope. Don’t be naive and think that this is the way forward. It’s not… and even you know it deep down inside.
  9. Hang on — love could be just around the corner. And finally, for a bit of cheese. I know you’re probably sick of hearing it, but you absolutely need to hang in there. Dating is a game of numbers — the more guys you meet, the more likely you are to find one that suits you. Keep going even when things get tough. Eventually, you’ll meet someone rather special. I swear.
Charlotte is a freelance writer who's addicted to binge-watching TV, drinking far too much coffee, and writing articles.