I Need To Stop Falling In Love With Every Guy Who Likes My Facebook Status

I Need To Stop Falling In Love With Every Guy Who Likes My Facebook Status ©iStock/Georgijevic

When you’ve been single for a long time like I have, even the slightest positive interactions with men can send you spiraling into schoolyard-caliber crushes. I read entirely too deep into everything and it’s one of my most destructive habits. Just recently, I posted a genuine selfie to my Facebook page and an old classmate liked it. I texted three friends to tell them about it. I’m getting to the point where every ounce of attention I get from a guy is coming across as a marriage proposal. I do eventually want to find someone and end my single life, but I need to calm it down with these cyber crushes first.

  1. I’m a grade A creep. I’ll just get this out of the way — it’s creepy. I get the initial notification or someone holds the door open for me as I’m walking into a gas station and suddenly, I’m 114 weeks deep in their Instagram feed trying to find baby pictures. I’m going to end up scaring these people away before I get a chance to say hello.
  2. There’s a reason my friends are my friends and not my boyfriends. If someone consistently favorites my tweets or Snapchats me back, it’s pretty safe to assume that I’ve already started planning our lives together. The problem with this is that I already know these boys and we’re not dating. Don’t get me wrong — I think the best relationships stem from strong friendships. I’m not saying I want to date every boy I’m friends with, that’s ridiculous… but if it were an option, I’d probably know that by now.
  3. Random men on social media are not suitable husbands. Recently, some guy messaged me on Instagram. He started with a “heyyy” and within the hour, I was imagining this elaborate long-distance relationship we would inevitably end up in. I didn’t know if he was actually who he said he was. Thinking back, I’m not sure he even told me who he was. He could’ve been a woman, my brother playing a joke on me, or the Craigslist killer. To no one’s surprise, we didn’t talk again.
  4. I’m not the only one. When someone randomly hits me up on social media, I know damn well I am not the only one they’re interacting with. That Instagram message? He probably copied and pasted that into messages with 50 other girls, trying to see who would take the bait.
  5. I need to think of the posts I ‘like’ myself. I read way too far into things, seeking validation. If someone I find attractive likes my posts, obviously they like me too. You know who else likes all of my posts? My grandmother. I don’t think she is trying to date me. The same goes the opposite way. If I have a little crush on someone, I will like everything they post (well, maybe not everything. I don’t want them to catch on). But, I also like everything my college roommates post. I like everything my neighbors post. Sometimes a like is just a like.
  6. I’m just bored or lonely, not in love. My infatuation spells come in waves. I’ll spend months feeling like an independent diva who doesn’t need any man and one day be caught up on the idea of an essential stranger. It gets really bad when I’ve been spending a lot of time alone. Though I claim I love to be alone, it does get lonely and romanticizing people usually fills that void. The same thing goes for when nothing exciting is happening in my life.
  7. I could miss out on something real. These crushes I develop when I get positive attention are 100% superficial. I’ll get stuck on someone for a few weeks and then someone else will be nice to me. For those few weeks, my sights are focused on someone who likely barely recognizes my existence off of the internet. Instead of trying to meet new people and form meaningful friendships and relationships, I’m waiting for someone who may or may not snap me back.
  8. I’m only going to hurt myself. I learned the hard way too many times that I’m the only one affected by my tendency to fall in love with everyone I meet. I romanticize these random guys and build them up onto perfect little pedestals and for no valid reason. I’m not saying there aren’t great guys out there or that I don’t appreciate my friends, but half of them aren’t the shining-armor knights I make them out to be. When I inevitably get hurt, I can only blame myself because all they did was like a Facebook status.