If you’ve been single long enough, you’ve probably been told that you don’t put yourself out there enough. You’re too picky, you need to give him a chance… you’ve heard it all. Eventually you relent, you schedule a bunch of dates and before you know it, all your evenings are filled with what end up being really crappy first dates. Here’s why you were right to avoid these guys to begin with:
- Your Gut Instinct Is Usually Right. If we aren’t getting along over text then why would it be any different in person? This guy isn’t miraculously going to come alive in person and be interesting if the messages were dire. You need to trust your gut and go with our initial impression. No one has time to waste by going on dates simply because someone else told you to.
- Dating Just To Date is a recipe for disaster. Being single is like being overweight. When we say that we are, we often feel compelled to justify that we’re doing something to change it, as if being single is such a bad thing. Dating simply so you can have something to mention the next time someone asks about your love life will only end in hurt and misery.
- The Way To Find A Guy Is Not To Lower Your Standards. You are NOT too picky. You have your standards and expectations and that’s nothing to be ashamed about. We all have different criteria for the person we want to be with and it’s okay if your list of requirements is longer than most.
- There’s Nothing Worse Than Small Talk. You already know he isn’t really your type but when his personality isn’t great either, it’s even more unbearable. You spend enough time in the office talking about the weather and pretending to be interested when guys rattle on about Pokemon Go — you don’t need these conversations in your love life too.
- You’ll Have So Much More Free Time. Think about the amount of time you not only waste on the date, but during pre-date texting and even before that, merely swiping. With all that time back, imagine the things you could do actually having fun. Going out, enjoying your life and doing activities that you love is the best way to meet someone who could have a real connection with.
- Going on More First Dates Won’t Get your Parents Off Our Back. Your parents will probably keep worrying about you until a ring is on that finger and that’s okay. Let them. Going on more first dates isn’t going to placate them. People are nosy and the frustration is real when everyone at your sister’s wedding can’t stop pestering us about your non-existent love life, but hold your head high. You’re single and you’re happy.
- It’s Okay to Take A Break. After one too many Tinder dates, you’re always tempted to delete all the apps – Bumble, Hinge, Happn. Do it. They’ll still be there in a couple of months and we all need a breather from these apps once in a while. The persistent messaging can become exhausting and you’ll end up feeling more and more skeptical about the potential of online dating. Instead of becoming cynical, hit pause. Trust me, your thumbs will thank you for it later.
- You can’t enjoy being single when you’re keeping company you don’t like. Each crappy first date is used as ammunition when you’re down about the fact that you’re still uncoupled, and when you have a string of bad memories in your arsenal, it can really affect your self-esteem. The problem isn’t that you’re single, it’s that these dates are making you feel like you always be. Dating shouldn’t be this hard and if it is, you’re completely entitled to say no… to it all.
