Reminder: You Need To Be Vulnerable To Fall In Love

Reminder: You Need To Be Vulnerable To Fall In Love ©iStock/a-wrangler

Is there anything scarier than falling in love? These days, it seems more and more people are choosing to stay happily single rather than putting their hearts on the line and admitting they actually have feelings for someone else. But love is a magical thing, and we shouldn’t give up on it. Here’s why you need to be vulnerable to fall in love:

  1. You’ll reap the rewards. If you’re going to be in a relationship, you might as well get used to speaking your mind and pouring out your soul to this person or else you should definitely stay single. Once you can be vulnerable with your new boyfriend, he’ll do the same and you’ll both benefit.
  2. Your love will be stronger. If you aren’t being vulnerable with each other, then it’s not really a relationship – that’s more the style of an almost relationship. There’s no way to be part of someone else’s life and have them be part of yours without being what you think of as weak. But it’s not weak – it’s actually super strong.
  3. Your relationship should be a safe place. What’s safer than being able to tell someone how you truly feel about them? Imagine how amazing your love will be if you and your boyfriend can speak with total honesty. That includes fighting too, sometimes – that can’t really be helped. But as long as you fight smart and fair, that’s OK.
  4. You have to risk it all. When people are afraid of falling in love, they’re afraid to get hurt. They’ve had bad experiences in the past and don’t see the point of trying all over again. But love is risky and that’s actually a good thing. You have to risk it all to get to the magic. It’s always worth it.
  5. No one is invincible. You could have been the coolest, calmest single girl on the planet before you met this guy that you actually care about. Now you’re wondering who you really are because in your mind, you didn’t need anyone and you were OK that way. But no one’s invincible – nope, not even you. You might as well put your heart out there sooner rather than later – you don’t want to end up bitter and disbelieving in love.
  6. Putting up walls will drive him away. If you pretend like you don’t care, eventually he won’t care, either – and, even worse, he’ll find someone who does. If you don’t want to lose this amazing new guy that you met (finally!), then don’t push him away before you’ve even started something real.
  7. He will really know you. Your vulnerability is like saying, “Here I am, and this is me whether or not you like it.” You won’t lie or try to look cooler than you are. You won’t fake nonchalance. You’ll just be you. Wouldn’t it be awesome to be with someone who really knows who you are, and even better, loves you for it?
  8. Everyone else is missing out. You probably have seriously single friends who complain about the opposite sex all the time and claim it’s so much better to be on their own. Once you can fall for someone – and really fall for them – then you’ll realize that those other people are missing out.
  9. There are different stages of love. The way you feel about your guy when you first say those three words and how you feel years later, when you’ve weathered all kinds of crap and are still together, will be completely different. There are different kinds of love and different stages along the way, too. And not once are you able to hide your feelings. You have to be vulnerable the entire time or there’s just no point.
  10. It gets easier. This is really the main reason to let go of your fears and doubts and just go all in. Once you allow yourself to really be seen by someone else, your relationship will become so much easier. You’ll be able to focus on what’s important: spending time together, and seeing what good things are just around the corner.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.