Having All Your Needs Met By One Guy Is Unrealistic—Here’s What To Do Instead

You’re a wonderfully complex person, so how could any one person meet all your needs? Instead of relying on a guy to be your everything, here’s what you can do instead.

  1. Create a network of badass partners in crime. From handball to happy hour to hiking, list all the fun activities you enjoy (or would like to try). Next to each item, write the name of friends or family you can invite along for each. Activities without many names next to them are a great place to start purposefully building your network. Want someone to go rock climbing with? Time to get to your local gym or find an online group and start socializing. Having fun with a badass group of friends will fulfill you in ways that a romantic relationship never could.
  2. Do something every day that expands your worldview. Sign up for that pilates class you were thinking about or start taking French lessons so you can finally plan that trip to Paris you’ve been dreaming up forever. It’s invigorating to try something new even if you don’t end up loving it. Keep an open mind when it comes to new hobbies and pastimes and you might surprise yourself. If you’ve decided you don’t like something before you even tried it, you could be missing out. Either way, you’ll be a better person for trying.
  3. Set long- and short-term goals and actually work towards making them happen. Few things in life feel better than working towards a goal you’re excited about, except maybe achieving it. Set your sights high and start hustling to make it a reality. Register for a class before you can second guess yourself. If you’re not sure what kind of goals to set, start small and work your way up. Maybe it’s as simple as drinking more water every day or attending a yoga retreat. Whatever it is, go after it!
  4. Have damn good sex, even if it’s with a FWB. Getting your sexual needs met is an important part of life but you don’t need to be in a life-long committed relationship to make it happen. If you’re being safe and sleeping with someone you trust to treat you with respect and courtesy, you do you.
  5. Do something to help those less fortunate. While giving back is a selfless gesture in theory, there’s plenty of research out there to support the fact that helping others makes you feel good too. Not only will you be making other people’s lives a little less painful or stressful and a bit brighter but you’ll be enriching your own life too.
  6. Get a side gig. What talents do you have that could be making you a little extra money on the side? Whether it’s freelance website design or teaching at a local non-profit that offers affordable classes to help others learn Spanish, you can turn something you do for fun into something you do for fun and money. You can make some great professional connections and also feel empowered knowing you’re in charge of your own financial destiny.
  7. See the world all by yourself. You don’t have to wait for a travel buddy or boyfriend to check off your bucket list of travel destinations. A quick Google search will help guide you to safe cities around the world. Or if solo travel isn’t up your alley, try women-only tours. There’s a whole planet out there full of beautiful, amazing things—see as much of it as you can ASAP.
  8. Adopt a pet. Whether it’s a dog, cat, or guinea pig, consider adopting a four-legged friend in need and giving it all the love and care it deserves. Animals will love you unconditionally and enrich your life in ways you never would have imagined. Plus, you’ll finally have an excuse to hang out at the local dog park when you’ve got your own to bring along.
Lacey McKenna studies romance literature watches lots of sappy movies. She’s a consultant by day and a freelance writer by night. Lacey lives in Denver with 2 adorable guinea pigs.