He “Needs Space” — What The Hell Does That Mean?

He “Needs Space” — What The Hell Does That Mean? ©iStock/skynesher

For some guys, it’s a cop out. For others, it’s a real request. If you’re like me, your mind goes through at least a million different possibilities in a second when a guy says he “needs space.” After all, what the hell does it mean? Before freaking out, consider the possibilities:

  1. He’s trying to figure out what he wants. He’s not sure where the relationship is going and wants to take a short break. You should probably discuss how long this break should be and what rules there are. Sometimes guys just need time to work things out.
  2. He’s scared of commitment. It happens to the best of us. Maybe you’re the first woman he’s wanted to commit to and it scares him. If this is the case, he’ll stick around, but he might not want to see you quite as often until he realizes his fears are ridiculous.
  3. He’s too chicken to dump you. That phrase could be your clue he’s about to become a ghosting loser. He wants to end things, but he just can’t say the words. If he goes off the grid, just pull the plug and move on to someone better.
  4. He’s found someone else. I’m not trying to scare you, but he could be having an affair. Obviously, he’ll need space to see the other woman. While he’d probably just do it behind your back and not give you any obvious clues, it’s still possible.
  5. He thinks things are moving too fast. If you’re talking marriage and kids after a few months, space is just his way of saying slow down. He’s still in to you, but he’s not ready to start house hunting and picking baby names any time soon.
  6. He’s getting pressured by friends, family and/or you. The more pressure a guy feels to marry you, the more space he’s going to want and need. After all, do you really want a man to propose just because he wants to shut everyone up? No. Let him do it for the right reasons.
  7. He’s stressed by something else in his life. It’s not always about you. Does he seem especially stressed lately? He could just need some extra time to spend on work or family problems. Let him know you’re there if he needs anything and let him have his space.
  8. He thinks you’re fighting too much. Does everything turn into a yelling match? Guys hate fighting, unless it ends with makeup sex. Still, fighting constantly isn’t even worth the sex. Who could blame a guy for wanting to take a step back from a bad situation like this?
  9. He just wants some time with friends. Are you hanging on his arm 24/7? Do you get jealous if he even mentions having some quality guy time? Give him some space to hang out with his friends. Don’t make him choose or he might just leave you for the friends he’s had for years.
  10. He wants you both to be more independent. While some guys are intimidated by independent women, most guys are turned off by clingy women. Space could just mean that he wants you both to learn how to be more independent. Use the space to do things you love and don’t worry.
  11. He needs some privacy sometimes. It’s nice to think of doing everything together until you realize what “everything” entails. If you’re living together, him saying he needs space could translate into “give me some privacy please.” You don’t have to spend every second together. He’ll be even happier to see you if he gets some time away from you.
  12. Ask him what it means. Stop agonizing over it and just ask him. Don’t make my mistake and get all bitchy (unless you’re already in the middle of a fight). If there’s a problem, now’s the time to talk about it. Don’t just assume space means the relationship’s over. If you’re not sure, just ask him point blank and see how he responds. No matter what he says, at least you’ll know.
Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book.