I’ve Never Been Kissed But Here’s Why I’m Not Stressing It

I’m 29 years old and I’ve never been kissed. I know it’s hard to believe that someone my age hasn’t had this experience yet, and for a long time, I thought I needed to explain and defend myself. These days, I don’t feel ashamed of it anymore.

I have so much to look forward to. I feel awkward when people bring up their first kiss stories in a conversation and I have nothing to say, but I’ve learned to not let anyone, even my friends, make me feel bad about it. Instead, I’m excited just thinking about who I’ll have my first kiss with and what it’ll be like.

I know that a magical first kiss is rare. Trust me, I know it won’t be like the way it happens in chick flick movies or books I’ve read. I’m not particularly saving my first kiss for someone special, but I would like to share this moment with someone I like and that I’m comfortable with. I won’t kiss someone I barely know. I’m not into hooking up, so kissing someone after a few drinks isn’t something I’d enjoy.

I’ve never had the urge to kiss someone. Society puts timelines on sexual experiences and if you don’t meet them at the “right” time, you’re a loser and will be alone forever. I’m not buying it—I won’t be tricked into something I’m not ready for. I’ve liked guys before and have had my fair share of crushes and infatuations, but looking back, I never really wanted to kiss any of them. I won’t force myself to do something that doesn’t feel right.

I’m an introvert. Making small talk with strangers drains my energy. I prefer meaningful, one on one conversation so that I can really get to know a person. I’m also a bit shy and I really can’t tell when a guy is flirting with me. I won’t even assume he likes me unless he explicitly says so. Because of my personality, I just can’t see myself locking lips with someone I just met at a party just to have my first kiss.

I’ve been so focused on achieving my dreams. Throughout high school and college, I worked my ass off to get high grades—boys and dating weren’t my priority. As I got older, I became more ambitious and driven, so I was never in the right state-of-mind to date anyone. Now that I’m slowly achieving my dreams, I want to be with someone who’s on the same wavelength as me. I want a man, not a boy. Unfortunately, most of the guys I’ve met just aren’t there yet.

I won’t pretend that kissing, love, and sex don’t matter. I recognize that it’s an important part of life, but I’m just trying to enjoy every day as it comes. Love and relationships will come eventually but for now, I’m happy to work on myself first. I won’t stress about the time wasted being single. Instead, I’ll look at it as time I didn’t waste on superficial relationships.

My worth isn’t measured by the number of guys I’ve kissed. I have so much to offer the world (and a potential partner). I’m smart and funny, I have an amazing job, great friends, and a pretty happy disposition in general. I won’t let my lack of kissing experience determine how awesome I really am.

Other people’s opinions don’t matter. My family and real friends don’t care whether I’ve locked lips with some guy, so why do I need to prove how desirable I am to a stranger? I don’t surround myself with negativity and I won’t let society pressure me either. My first kiss will happen when I’m ready. I deserve to respect and love myself first.

I’m in charge of my life. There was a time when I felt sorry for myself when I compared my experiences (or lack thereof) with other people’s. However, I’ve long since realized that I don’t need a man to make me happy. I’m in charge of my own happiness. If I’m going to be in a relationship, the guy must complement me rather than define my existence. I want my first kiss to be with someone who sees me as an independent, confident woman who is happy with who she is because that’s exactly what I am.

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