Whether you believe in dealbreakers or not, it’s pretty hard to date these days without having some idea of what kind of person you’re looking for. We’ve got tons of options at our fingertips and it’s easier than ever before to find someone we have stuff in common with, but sometimes it can feel impossible to know who’s right for you. While it’s never smart to have such a strict wish list that you turn every single guy down, it’s definitely okay to have some kind of idea. For starters, you should never date someone without these qualities.
- A sense of humor and the ability to laugh at himself. It’s awesome when a guy has a great sense of humor. Part of that is knowing what level of self-deprecation is hilarious and what’s super lame. It’s a fine line, but when a guy can draw it perfectly, he’s second date (and perhaps boyfriend) material. Just think of how much fun you two will have when you’re laughing every time you’re together.
- The belief that women are totally equal. How well do you think your “perfect” romance is going to work out if your boyfriend is sexist, doesn’t think women should make as much as men do, and is generally unsupportive of the opposite sex? Guys should always support women’s rights 100 percent. There’s just no other way.
- A strong work ethic. If a guy has a dead end job or, worse yet, no job at all, then that attitude will bleed out into all areas of his life. He’s going to be pretty lazy, might even still live at home at 28, and probably won’t want to commit to you. Moving on.
- Curiosity about other people and the surrounding world. If someone shows an interest in the world around them and is curious to broaden his horizon with new information and experiences, that means he’s probably a good bet for you. He’ll going to ask after your BFFs and be cool with meeting them, and will want to know all about your history, too.
- Compassion. If a guy is caring, it seriously makes me swoon. He probably calls his mom and his grandma at least once a week and offers to help his friends move apartments even without the promise of free pizza and beer. Why would you want to date someone who wasn’t super nice, anyway? You have to watch out, though – he shouldn’t be so over-the-top sweet that it’s abusive.
- An open mind. Like curiosity, it’s crucial that your future BF has an open mind. It’ll make every single decision easier, from what restaurant to go to for Sunday night dinner to what to binge on Netflix. If someone is way too stubborn and set in their ways, there won’t be any room for you in his life. He’ll also be able to support you if you make seemingly nuts decisions like quitting your job and starting your own business (crazy as in crazy smart, obviously).
- That fine line between confidence and arrogance. It’s attractive when a guy is confident, but not so much when he’s obsessed with himself. Make sure he’s just secure with himself and in his place in the world and not a total narcissist, because no one wants that.
- A love of pop culture and/or politics. Not everyone is a political junkie and not everyone lives and breathes TV, film, music and books. It’s a good idea to find someone who likes at least one of the two because you’ll always have interesting conversations.
- One weird quirk. You’re totally neurotic about the strangest things, or you have a serious need to eat breakfast for dinner, or you have a truly unique hobby. Guys are like that, too. The key is finding someone just as weird as you so the two of you can be adorably weird together.
