Drinking before or during a first date can be a great way to ward off anxieties and give a much-needed boost of courage and confidence, but it can also cause some problems… especially if you actually see things going somewhere with this person. This is why I’ve chosen to stay sober whenever I go on a first date with a guy:
- I want to be fully myself. When it comes to dating, I don’t fool around. I want to present myself accurately, insecurities and all. If he judges me for being a little bit nervous, that’s on him.
- I don’t need alcohol to have fun. The older I get, the less I need alcohol to have fun. Now that I’m in my mid-twenties, the idea of getting drunk on a first date sounds a little too much to swallow. I used to pound back G&Ts when I was in my early twenties, but I honestly have a better time now when I stay sober.
- I don’t want it to cloud my judgment. If I get tipsy during our date, I might make a decision that I’ll later on regret, like going home with my date or making a move when he’s really not a good match for me. When I get drunk, I have the ability to fall in love with just about anyone, and I ultimately don’t trust my judgment when I’m under the influence.
- Being a little nervous is kinda cute. Honestly, what is the point of a first date if I’m not at least a little bit nervous? I think it’s sweet when my date is clearly a little overwhelmed. It shows me that they care and that they actually like me. I’d hope my own nervousness comes across the same way, so I’m not going to ruin it by giving myself “liquid courage.”
- I don’t necessarily want it to end in sex. If I start pounding back the beer on our first date, I might be setting myself up for a one-night stand, and I don’t necessarily want that. If I end up seeing a future with this guy, I’m going to want to take it slow, but if I’m already drunk, there’s no way that’s going to happen.
- He’ll be way more likely to ask me on a second date. Since I didn’t succumb to pressure and guzzle down an entire bottle of Prosecco while letting my entire life story pour out of me, he’s way more likely to ask me on a second date. Sure, I might have been holding back a bit due to nerves, but that only adds to the mystery.
- I don’t want to accidentally say something I’ll regret. I’ve been known to be quite the blabber mouth when I get drunk, and I honestly don’t trust myself to not say something weird that I’ll later on regret. I told a date once that I thought I was falling in love with him, and he did NOT reciprocate those feelings. Nowadays, I keep it reeled in for everyone’s sake.
- I want to remember every moment of the evening. This could be the moment I meet my future husband, and I want to be 100 percent coherent for every second. I want to remember how nervous I was, what we talked about, and how I felt about him — not how many Jager bombs I smashed.
- And hey, if we do have sex, I want it to be good. Have you ever tried having sex after drinking a whole bottle of red wine? I totally lose stamina, and the whole thing ends up being a hot, confusing mess. If I stay sober, the sex ends up lasting a much longer time, and it’s always more satisfying.
- I only drink on a first date because I’m insecure. If I really think about it, I used to get drunk on my dates because I didn’t think I was good enough when I was sober. I was using it to cover up my low self-esteem, but I don’t need to do that anymore. I’m perfectly acceptable the way I am.
