We Are Never, Ever Getting Back Together

You may be that ex-boyfriend for me — the one that haunts my dreams, the one that always seems to be a possibility — but that doesn’t mean there’s a second chance for us. This breakup happened for a reason and that’s how it’s going to stay. Here’s why, in the words of the great Taylor Swift, we are never, ever, ever getting back together:

  1. I’m ambitious as hell. This was what you liked about me at first — and what ultimately drove you away. I’m not going to change to fit some mold of the girlfriend that you want. I have goals and dreams and I go after them every day. I’d love to find love, but not at the expense of my ambitions.
  2. I’m older and hopefully wiser. Would the me of today even fall for you? I’m not sure, and that’s why it’s just not going to happen again for us. I can’t unlearn the dating lessons from the past few single years. I’m a different person today and I learned my lesson the first time. I have no intention of making the same mistake twice.
  3. I had enough chances. If I wanted to get back together, I would have tried to make that happen by now. Over the years, you’ve contacted me via Facebook messages that I mostly left unanswered. We had plenty of shots and they’re all gone now. If I said no all those times, I’m not going to say yes now.
  4. I want more out of love. I may have loved you and it may have been the best relationship of my life so far, but that doesn’t mean that was all I wanted. I want more from a guy — a real partner, someone to share my world with, someone who is going forward instead of backward. It can’t just be inside jokes and horror movie marathons.
  5. I healed my broken heart. You were the first guy I ever loved… and the first guy to ever break my heart. If I forgot that and forgave you, I would be giving up on the girl I promised I would become: someone super strong and confident. Someone who could handle anything. Someone who didn’t need a guy to be happy.
  6. I’m done with the backup plan. You were always that ex I could daydream about dating again, especially in those low moments when modern dating seemed too insane to deal with. That’s over now. I’m done with using you as my romance backup plan. I’m going to find someone who’s right for me, instead of trying to force you to be the boyfriend that you just can’t be.
  7. I’m not naive. It would be super naive and innocent of me to believe that being with you for a second time would be any better. Things fell apart for a while before we officially broke up, and that would just happen again. History always repeats itself, especially the romantic kind. I’m not going through that again.
  8. I won’t fall for the BS again. You weren’t a bad boyfriend — actually, you were kind of the greatest… for a little while, at least. You got that true romance wasn’t cheesy so-called sophistication and that the little moments were what counted. But I can’t fall for that anymore. I can’t be blinded by your sweetness and charm because I know the problems hiding in the background.
  9. I want a different life. You live in a small town, I live in a city. You’re still figuring out who you are and finding your dreams, I’m living them every single day. We’re two different people living two different lives, and that’s exactly how I want it to be.
  10. I’m not sad. I could spend hours wondering how we let our love story die and why we didn’t work harder to fix it while we still could. But I don’t want to do that. I’m not sad about it because it was good while it lasted, and sometimes that’s just the way that it goes. I have zero regrets and I moved on a long time ago.
  11. I’m okay. I may have thought I would never, ever get over you, but I did. I accomplished that goal and so many more. And now I’m totally okay with living without you. So although we are never, ever getting back together, I still hope you’re happy. It just has to be without me.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.