Here’s Why You Should Never Exchange Passwords With The Person You’re Dating

It might seem like the ultimate act of trust and intimacy to exchange passwords to your email, social media accounts, or even your phone with your partner, but here are 12 reasons why it’s a really bad idea.

  1. It’s creepy. When you hand over your FB and IG passwords, you never know when your partner will go checking your social media accounts. Even if you have nothing to hide, it still feels like you’re being watched.
  2. It creates a false sense of trust. Does it really mean you and your partner trust each other because you’ve given each other your passwords? It could be a false sense of security. Just because you can read the emails he sends to other women, for example, it doesn’t mean that everything’s cool and you should trust he won’t cheat on you. He might be flirting with women in real life.
  3. It could point to trust issues. On the other hand, does the need to snoop through your partner’s messages with their consent mean that you don’t trust them? It certainly doesn’t bode well. I mean, why else would you need to have their email and FB passwords?
  4. It can create unnecessary stress. Imagine your partner gives you his email password and you log into it to check who’s emailing him. You might assume that a colleague who’s sending him funny messages is into him when really they’re just platonic friends. It’s easy to take things out of context and you might cause stress and drama that you don’t need.
  5. You never know what they’ll do with your passwords. You might trust your partner 100%, but who’s to say that won’t change? You never know what they’ll do with your passwords and even how often they’ll be logging into your social media accounts to check what you’re doing. You might trade passwords and think it’s a one-off, but it might not be. A study that was conducted by Better Buy Insurance found that 30% of people between the ages of 18 and 34 have used a partner’s password without them knowing it.
  6. You don’t have to share everything. Honestly, it’s ridiculous to think that just because you’re dating someone you have to share every little thing with them. Do they need access to your every thought and text? It seems a bit extreme.
  7. Some things should only be yours. There are some things, like passwords, that can and should only belong to you. The same goes for some hobbies and life goals, and even some spare time when you just want to do you. Having that space and privacy in your relationship is important to keep it healthy.
  8. You don’t have to become one person. Exchanging passwords with your partner feels a little too much like you’re becoming the same person. It’s similar to having a mutual Facebook account. What happened to your individuality?
  9. It might be a manipulative move. If your partner suggests you log into each other’s social media accounts or emails, it might be a way for them to manipulate you into sharing private things with them. Think about it: if you say no, it looks like you have something to hide even if this isn’t the case. Your partner might also use the whole “But we love each other so what’s the big deal?” approach. Talk about a guilt trip. It’s unfair.
  10. It can be tricky if you break up. Imagine if you break up with your partner and forget to change all your passwords? You never know what they could do. What if they take revenge on you by posting things on your FB or deleting some of your followers on Twitter? You never really know what someone’s like until you break up with them, so you’ve been warned.
  11. It might not even be them you have to worry about. Imagine if your partner’s friend gets hold of your passwords and wants to do something shady with them. Eek! That’s even worse because now a stranger is going through your FB albums and posts. You might be super careful about where you store your partner’s passwords, but your partner might not be. And, if you have highly personal videos on your phone, that could lead to lots of other problems.
  12. It’s unfair on other people in your life. Maybe you trust your partner completely and think it’s no big deal for them to have access to your private chats with others. But how would your friend feel if she knew that another pair of eyes was reading all about her recent STD scare or embarrassing situation at work? It’s not fair on your loved ones and can break the promise of confidentiality that you’ve made with them.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.