Here’s Why I Never Feel Sorry About Being “Clingy”

I’ve been told by ex-boyfriends that I can be “too clingy” or “too intense” and it used to really get me down. However, I’ve since realized that I’m not the one with the problem—I’m just being authentic and if a guy can’t handle it, he’s not for me.

If he can’t handle a real relationship, he doesn’t deserve me.

 If a guy can’t handle me double texting him because I’m excited about something that happened to me today, we shouldn’t be together. I’ll text him because I want to tell you about my day and I want to hear about his. If he gets sick of me after just checking in throughout the day, he’s definitely going to get sick of me years down the line. Someone who can’t handle me all the time is someone I don’t want to waste my time continuing to date.

Clingy doesn’t mean crazy.

I’m not going to go through his phone when he leaves the room. I won’t demand that he spend time with me or text me back within five minutes. I’m not going to wilt without his love because I’m not desperate. What I am is passionate. I’d rather come off too strong than too weak. I’m not going to try to hide feelings that are really there for the sake of some guy labeling me as crazy. The right guy will admire this passion and not let it scare him away.

I believe that “playing the field” is BS.

 Call me old-fashioned, but I’d rather focus my efforts on one person at a time. I want to put my effort into getting to know him and I can’t do that if I’m splitting my efforts between three or four different guys. I don’t have the time or energy to mess around with people I can’t see myself having a serious future with. If I’m with a guy, I’m all in. When I find someone worthwhile, I’ll delete my dating apps and keep my distance from exes out of respect for him and I expect him to do the same.

I have no problem admitting where I stand with my feelings.

I’m not going to be shy about how much I like a guy. I take leaps of faith with my heart and want someone who has enough courtesy to do the same. I’ll invite him to parties with my friends, I’ll want to spend weekends together, and I’ll genuinely want to hear about his day. I believe in being open and honest in every part of my life; just because I’m with a guy doesn’t change that. I’m not scared to be open about my feelings because I demand to be with a guy who is open about his too. If it scares him off, he wasn’t right for me.

I only want to date someone I can trust.

 When I stop talking to other guys, delete dating apps, start making more time to spend with a dude, I do this out of respect. I want someone who would do the same for me. I come off as clingy because there’s no element of mystery when it comes to dating me. He’ll know where I’ll be, he’ll know who my friends are, and he’ll know he’s on my mind because I’ll let him know. Whoever I’m with knows they can trust me and I want that same respect back.

I don’t like to play games.

 I’m not going to calculate who sent the first text yesterday and wait to get a message from him because it’s not “my turn” to send the first one. No way. I’m going to say what I want to when I want to without worrying about coming off as clingy. I’m not in high school anymore and the chase doesn’t excite me. What excites me is a guy who actually shows he cares and who I can see a future with.

I’m proud to show him off. 

I’ll want to bring him around all the time because I’m proud that he’s my boyfriend. I’ll introduce him to my parents and each one of my friends. I’ll want him to be a bigger part of my life and I can’t do that if I have to hide important people from you. I’ll want to post pictures of us on social media so all my friends can see how amazing my boyfriend is. If he’s someone who is scared to bring me around to his work parties or can’t show me on social media because too many people will find out about us, he’s not committed and not the one for me.

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