I’d love to find an equal partner to share my life with, but that life will never include a trip down the aisle. Even if I find my soulmate, I’ll never get married and I’m totally fine with that—in fact, I’m ecstatic. Here’s why:
A Piece Of Paper Doesn’t Reflect My Commitment. Not only can getting married be incredibly expensive, especially for a one-day event, but I also don’t believe that a piece of paper declares my love and commitment. If my partner knows that I love them above and beyond anyone else, that’s all that matters. Having a stamped government document isn’t going to keep our relationship any stronger than it’d be without it.
I’m a modern woman and frankly, I think Marriage Is Old-Fashioned. Getting married is supposedly the be all, end all for couples. Look back at Disney movies and they all end with the princess getting married to her wonderful Prince Charming. Blech. Dating doesn’t have to end with “I do.” Marriage made more sense back in the day but as time goes on, it’s less and less important. Thank God!
I’m In No Hurry To Give Up My Single Life. I adore being single. I make my own rules, I don’t need to answer to anyone, and if I feel like staying in the same sweatpants for three days, I can without any hesitation. I also can go through phases of dating when I choose to do it. I don’t need to check in with anyone when I choose to go off the grid for a few days. Getting married would feel like I always had to be “on” for my partner, and I’m not feeling that.
You’re expected to have kids after you get married and I might not want them. It seems as soon as the vows are exchanged, everyone immediately expects the newlyweds to start a family. The honeymoon is over, so apparently that automatically means it’s time to start popping out kids. If a couple waits too long to have kids, speculations start and it’s not fair. I’d rather avoid the issue altogether.
I have better things to spend my time and money on than a wedding. The amount of time and money that go into a wedding is absolutely ridiculous. Yes, there are multiple ways to do things on the cheap if you really want to, but at the end of the day, there are way better things to spend time and money on and plenty of other ways to celebrate love.
I’m afraid of becoming isolated. Instead of hitting up the bar scene on a Friday night with friends, married couples tend to spend their evenings together. Your single friends start to call less and less and you rely on your husband for support rather than your girls. Of course, loneliness in marriage is gradual and doesn’t always happen to everyone, but the fear of being isolated and stuck with just my husband for company scares the hell out of me. No thanks.
I’d rather focus on my career. Since I was 17, my main focus has been my career. Relationships are very distracting for me and I tend to lose my direction. I become super involved in the other person and most of my free time is put into being with them. This is my own fault, but until I choose to learn to balance it, I can’t think about committing to someone, let alone marriage.
Being Someone’s Wife Is Overrated. I’ve never been one for labels. I’ve also never envisioned myself as being a man’s wife. I love being my own individual and checking the “single” box when I do my taxes. Also, being a wife isn’t something I consider to be cool. I associate it with lots of home time and cooking, which I know is dumb but I can’t help it. I want to be known as the freelance, traveling writer who takes sporadic vacations.
I Need My own space. After living in a studio apartment with my ex-fiancé and never being able to get away from him, I slowly lost my mind. I need and sometimes ache for my solo time, away from other human beings. I’m a full-time bartender and a writer, so getting away from people is a necessity to re-focus and recharge. Being around family is different than being around a husband. I can shut out my sister for a day and she’ll understand, but I’d feel guilty shutting out my husband. It’s easier not to have one at all.
I Don’t Want To Regret Making Someone Else Happy By Marrying Them. Marrying someone to make them happy is the worst possible scenario I could imagine. You’re basically allowing someone’s happiness to surpass yours. Once the wedding bliss subsides, resentment and unhappiness will soon follow. Along with that, taking one another for granted, adultery, emotional aloofness, or divorce are totally possible.
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