I’ve reached the ripe old age of 24 and have never been in a relationship. I’ve gone out one date in my life and that’s it. I used to wonder if something was wrong with me, but looking back, I realize that being single has made my life so much better.
- I’ve fostered some great friendships. For a long time, I was invisible to those with a Y chromosome. Because of this, I focused more on getting close to my girlfriends and fully understanding the hoes before bros mantra. This has helped me connect to some amazing women who, over a decade later, are still in my life. While it’s possible to make friends when you’re dating someone, it’s a lot more difficult when you are being pulled in two different directions. Therefore, staying single helped me avoid any drama between my girls and my guy.
- I got to choose my own path in life. I never understood why couples who dated in high school decided where they’d go to college based on each other’s decisions. In that situation, one person probably needs to make sacrifices more than the other. In staying single, I got to be selfish and focus on me. I pursued my interests without anyone holding me back. Now, I can live my life wherever and however I want, and when I set up my life the way I want it, I can find someone that fits into it instead of trying to put a convoluted puzzle together.
- I’ve learned to appreciate being single. I love having no attachments. Nobody is jealous or suspicious if I go out with my friends and I don’t have to fret over my partner’s alleged infidelities. I know that a relationship has its perks, or so I’ve heard, but when I hear the women around me whine about their boyfriends, I smile to myself and remind them of their griping next time they mention my devotion to solitude, and they do love to give me advice.
- I’ve learned to do things for myself and by myself. I’m perfectly okay with taking myself to dinner; in fact, I find it to be cathartic and creatively stimulating. I can build my own furniture, add oil to my car, and shovel my own sidewalk. Because I didn’t need to rely on a man for these things, I won’t have to depend on a future boyfriend. After all, there are very few things women actually need men for, and staying single forced me to learn to figure things out for myself. When I’m ready to commit, it’ll be less out of necessity and more out of the desire for companionship.
- I’ve been able to stay close to my family. I may not have had date nights but I did have family game nights. I didn’t have to face the drama if my boyfriend and my mother didn’t get along. I relied on my family more, which brought us much closer. After all, boyfriends and even friends may come and go, but family is forever—at least mine is.
- I’ve learned from other people’s mistakes. When my friends and family come to me with relationship problems (even if I have zero experience), I can analyze the situation from an outsider’s point of view and add it to my mental list of things not to do in a relationship. So, when I do enter into my first romantic relationship, I can apply what I’ve learned without all the teen angst.
- I’ve been able to discover what I like sexually. I think the worst part of a teenage relationship is that awkward “first time.” Sex, like anything, has a learning curve. Just because I’ve waited to have a relationship doesn’t mean I haven’t satisfied my curiosity and desires. I’m not ashamed to say that I took time to explore myself and what turns me on, so when I do get a boyfriend, I’ll be able to communicate what I like.
- I get to have more fun. One of my girlfriends has a curfew set up by her boyfriend and another one always has to leave events early because her guy never has any fun. That’s why I love being the single one in my group of friends. I don’t have anyone to answer to anyone if I want to be out late and I have less drama to deal with overall. I can also flirt and dance with whoever I want and pursue my own interests without having to sit through activities I don’t want to do. It’s bliss.
- I’ve been able to avoid the Millennial Dating Scene. Obviously, I’m still a millennial but at 24, I have a better chance of finding a true partner rather than just an emotionless FWB situation. I’ve tried several dating sites and apps and I see how so many guys are only interested in one thing. Nobody wants to get to know each other, do thoughtful things for one another, or get emotionally involved. I’d rather find someone I can have more than just a physical connection with.