Why You Should Never Judge Your Ex’s New Woman

How could he be dating HER? It doesn’t matter who he’s dating, but you instantly hate your ex’s new girlfriend. You don’t even know her name yet, but you’re happily talking crap about her to all your friends. You’ve probably even tried to find out who she is from your ex’s social media accounts.

I know it’s tempting to let your emotions take over, but it’s best to never judge your ex’s new woman. At least wait until she actually does something to you first. Be the better woman and just let it go. It’s not worth the stress and it’s not going to change a thing.

  1. You don’t even know her. Okay, so in some rare cases, you might actually know your ex’s new flame. Most of the time, you don’t. Calling her a bitch might make you feel better, but what if she’s actually a really nice person? Remember, karma’s a bitch and it’s best not to judge someone you don’t know.
  2. She’s having to put up with his crap now. If your ex was a major jerk, why judge her? You should feel sorry for her. She’s putting up with all the same crap you did. Don’t judge. Just wish her the best and hope she dumps him and saves herself the trouble.
  3. She didn’t do anything to you. So what if she’s dating your ex? She didn’t do anything specifically to you. He was a free man and she started dating him. Even if he was cheating with her, that’s his fault. Hate him and leave her out of it. Of course, if she really does do something to you, you’re free to say whatever you want.
  4. You don’t know what she’s been through. How many times have you judged your ex’s new girlfriend and called her promiscuous or trashy or cheap or anything similar? For all you know, she could’ve had a horrible relationship in the past, still be a virgin and is just now taking a chance on love after spending the last 10 years alone. It’s that whole don’t judge until you’ve walked in her shoes scenario.
  5. She deserves to be happy too. It might not have worked out with you and him, but if he makes her happy, then great. You both deserve to be happy. Let her enjoy her new boyfriend. Judging her and trying to ruin things for her isn’t fair. Move on and find your own happiness.
  6. It just makes you look bad. She has the guy, so she really doesn’t care. Judging her just makes you look petty. It looks bad to your ex, his new girlfriend, all of your friends and anyone else who hears you. She comes off as the good one and you’re the bad guy.
  7. Your ex enjoys your jealousy. Trashing his new woman just shows him your jealous. After all, it wouldn’t bother you so much if you didn’t still have a thing for him. Don’t give him the satisfaction. The more you bitch, the more jealous you sound.
  8. The relationship is over, so move on. Seriously, it’s time to move on with your life. I’ve seen some women trying to get all her friends to turn against her ex’s girlfriend. Why? To break up the relationship. Just accept that it’s over and he’s moved on. It’s time for you to do the same.
  9. Looks fade, so quit comparing. I know it’s a bit of a blow to your ego when you see him with a woman that’s a little more well endowed than you. Who cares what she looks like? You’re beautiful just the way you are. Besides, looks fade. He could be dating a model now, but in 50 years, she’s not going to look so good in those mini-skirts and sheer tops.
  10. No one asked for your opinion. Judging the new woman is just a sad cry for attention. It tells your friends that you’re upset and you need their pity. No one asked you to judge this poor girl. Can the trash talk and biased opinions. It’s easier on everyone if you just ignore that your ex even has a new girlfriend.
  11. It’s not up to you who he dates. Are you his mother? I didn’t think you. It’s not up to you to choose who he dates and when. That’s completely his choice. I don’t care how immature he might have been with you, he’s still a big enough boy to make his own choices in dating.
  12. She could be a friend one day. I know it might be a long shot, but you might end up friends with this woman at some point. She might end up as a mutual friend of one of your closest friends or even co-worker. If she hears what you’re saying now, it’s going to be a more than a little awkward in the future.

It’s time to let the anger and jealousy go. Focus on finding someone new. All that judgement isn’t going to make you happy. In the end, he’ll be happy and you’ll feel miserable. Move on, find a new love and be happy yourself.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.