I Never Notice A Guy Is Into Me Until It’s Too Late

Admittedly, I have a very difficult time deciphering the difference between flirting and typical “nice guy” behavior. Who could blame me? Because I’m afraid of embarrassing myself, I’d never come out and make the first move or ask a guy how he feels and I always end up missing out on great guys because of it.

  1. I tend to be oblivious and assume a guy who’s flirting is just being nice. There’s a chance that I’m not immediately thinking about being involved in a relationship of any sort, so my mind doesn’t immediately gravitate towards romance. If this is the case, sometimes I misconstrue potentially romantic behavior such as casual dates or subtle flirting as “nice guy” behavior.
  2. Guys wait to spill their feelings until they’re in new relationships with other women. I can’t pinpoint why this happens exactly, but it’s almost like a switch gets flipped when a new romance takes the place of a could-be relationship. I feel like men who are afraid of rejection tend to wait until they’re in a relationship themselves before they admit that there might have been a spark between us in the past. That way, they’re safe if they get rejected because they have someone else to fall back on.
  3. I’m not always on the prowl. I’m very secure with my singleness, and I’m ok with wating for the “right” guy to come along instead of jumping into fling after fling in the meantime. Because I’m not on the prowl searching for potential suitors, I sometimes tend to overlook the possibility of a guy being interested in me along the way, and usually by the time I realize, it’s too late.
  4. I miss out because I’m not brave enough to ask. I’ll admit that I’m not a confrontational person, which makes me shy away from bringing feelings up at all. Instead, I just let things pan out and at that point, it typically results in me missing out on a relationship because I don’t have the balls to speak up in the first place.
  5. I thought we were just friends. I’m a girl’s girl through and through, but I also tend to vibe really well with guys. Because of this, I find myself in close friendships with men more often than not. It’s all fun and games until the day when the guy starts to distance himself, and I wonder what’s going on. It’s then that I realize he has a girlfriend, so he doesn’t really “need” my friendship anymore. What I never understand is why it’s so easy for them to back away, so I started confronting a few of the guys from my past. I learned that the reason we had a friendship in the first place was that they had seen me as a potential girlfriend. Cool. So why didn’t I pick up on the clues sooner?
  6. What’s up with the friend zone, anyway? It’s a tornado of emotion and a fork in the road between friendship and a romantic relationship. Unfortunately, it’s where I end up most frequently and I typically get there without even trying. The worst part about ending up in the friend zone is that you don’t realize you’re in so deep until it’s too late to get out.
  7. Overthinking is a bitch with a capital B. If you’ve ever dealt with any level of anxiety, you know how treacherous overanalyzing people and situations can be. It’ll generate a whirlwind of possible scenarios and typically none of them are the least bit accurate. I’m left trying to sort out the fantasy land dancing around in my head with what’s actually happening in real life and oh man, it sucks.
  8. It’s game over if he’s not interested from the beginning. If I don’t think a guy is into me but I’m falling for him, then I’ll try to protect my feelings by pushing aside the idea of a romantic future with him. After that happens, it’s very difficult for me to look at the relationship any other way than just friends, so if a guy admits that he’s interested in me at that point, it’s already game over in my mind.
  9. I’ve assumed before and been wrong. There was this one time, years ago, when I was out at the bar with my friends, and I met a new guy. We seemed to be hitting it off and his friend made a comment about him being into men, not women. I asked if he would “do this” if he was really into men and I boldly kissed him. Their faces went white and they laughed hysterically while simultaneously looking across the bar at his apparent fiance. Sure enough, he came over and we all laughed it off, but YIKES. I’ll be scarred forever by that move.
  10. Men think I’m not perceptive; I think they need to step up their game. I’ve had plenty of men tell me that they think I’m not very perceptive when it comes to picking up on when a man is interested in me. The question is, should I really fall for that pathetic excuse or should I continue to express that I want to be pursued more romantically like I deserve? I think we all know the answer here. I’m not naive; if you’re interested in me, kindly step up your game.
Mix 1 part momma + 1 part writer + 1 part hairstylist. Add the love of laughter, adventure, and caffeine. Blend well with a passion for country music and hockey. Sprinkle with sass, and that's me.