Sometimes we let other people control our happiness in life. Whether it’s a romantic partner that we’re doting on or a friend that we’re spending too much time with, depending on someone else to lift your mood every day isn’t healthy. In fact, it’s detrimental.
Happiness is about you and no one else.
It might take you a while to realize it, but happiness is not about your job, your degree, or being in a relationship. It’s about being kind to yourself, listening to your heart, and embracing the person that you’re becoming. If you’re involving other people, it’s important to stop because it really doesn’t have anything to do with anyone else.
Your happiness is in your hands.
There’s only one person that can make you happy and that’s you. By putting your happiness in the hands of other people, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. I mean, everybody else is so busy focusing on their own stuff that it’s not smart to rely on other people to pick you up all the time. They’d probably end up neglecting you and making you feel worse about yourself.
You’re giving someone else the opportunity to destroy you.
You also get those people in your life who know how much that you depend on them and use it against you. They take advantage of your caring and kind nature. Sometimes when people are intimidated by your strength and happiness, they try to tear you down and break your spirit. If this ever happens to you, remember that it’s a reflection of their weakness and nothing more.
Ask yourself why you’re basing your happiness on someone else’s validation.
The only way that you can break free of this vicious cycle is by having a quiet word with yourself and trying to get to the bottom of why you feel like you have to lean on someone else all the time. Is it because you’re so deeply unhappy on your own? Do you feel more confident when someone else is giving you their opinions, or do you just not trust yourself to make the right decisions in life?
It usually boils down to insecurity.
People who constantly put the key to their happiness in someone else’s pocket usually do this because they feel incredibly insecure about themselves. But remember, even the most secure human beings have their moments where they lack confidence. It’s normal, yes, but it’s important that you progressively learn how to validate yourself in life instead of relying on others.
You have to learn how to make yourself happy first and foremost.
Sure, this may sound cliche, but it doesn’t make it any less true. If you don’t make yourself happy first, you’re going to get a nasty shock if the person that you’re relying on disappears and you’re left to fend for yourself. True happiness always comes from within, so start focusing on yourself and the rest will follow.
Be selfish sometimes.
If your partner or BFF wants to go day-tripping with you but you’d rather have a self-care day to yourself, don’t sweat it. You have to do what you have to do sometimes for the sake of your own happiness and well-being. It’s OK to treat yourself as number one, put your happiness first, and live your life.
Slot other people into your life who add to your happiness and don’t define it.
Make room for the people in your life who make you feel good when you’re around them but also give you time to do your own thing. If there’s anybody that’s babying you or not giving you any precious alone time, take a step back from them. Otherwise, things are never going to change.
It’s a work in progress.
The truth is that nobody is perfect at making themselves happy. We’re all just doing the best that we can. There’s no rule book in life and no set way of doing things, so don’t beat yourself up if you’re not yet where you want to be in terms of the person who you are and how you look after yourself. Things take time, and that includes your happiness reaching its full potential. Whatever you do, don’t give up. You’ll get there eventually.
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