Relationships are supposed to be a two-way street, but sometimes they can feel more like a one-way road when double standards sneak in. These are the little (or not-so-little) expectations that one partner holds the other to, while conveniently forgetting to apply them to themselves. If you’ve been letting these slide, it might be time to take a closer look and start holding your ground. Here are some common relationship double standards you should never tolerate.
1. They Can Have Friends of Any Gender, But You Can’t
It’s one thing if you both agree to keep your friendships respectful, but if they’re allowed to have close friends of any gender while giving you a hard time about yours, that’s not cool. Trust has to go both ways. If they’re constantly questioning your friendships while expecting full trust in theirs, it’s time to call out the hypocrisy.
2. They Expect You to Always Be Available, But They’re Never Around
If your partner gets upset when you’re busy or can’t drop everything for them, but they always seem to have a million reasons why they’re too busy for you, then that’s a classic double standard. When one person’s time is valued more than the other’s, it can feel like an uneven playing field. A relationship should be about mutual respect, not keeping someone on call like an assistant.
3. You’re Expected to Share Everything, But They Keep Secrets
Honesty is a two-way street, but sometimes partners expect you to spill all your secrets while they stay tight-lipped. If they’re demanding total transparency from you while staying mysterious about their own life, that’s not fair. Trust requires both people to be open, not just one person putting everything out on the table.
4. They Get Mad When You Flirt, But Think It’s Harmless When They Do It
If they’re all smiles and giggles when they’re the ones getting flirty with someone, but give you the silent treatment if you so much as crack a smile at a joke, that’s a huge red flag. Flirting might seem innocent, but the rules should apply to both of you. If they can’t handle you being friendly, then they shouldn’t be doing it either.
5. They Judge Your Past Relationships, But Expect You to Ignore Theirs
It’s not fair if your partner holds your past against you while brushing off their own history as no big deal. We all have a past, and we’ve all learned from it. If they can’t accept where you’ve been, yet they expect you to be perfectly okay with their own past, that’s a double standard you don’t have to put up with.
6. They’re Allowed to Express Their Emotions, But Expect You to Stay Cool
It’s not unusual for some people to think it’s okay to blow off steam when they’re upset but roll their eyes when you show any emotion. If they think it’s fine for them to blow up now and then but label your reactions as overreacting, that’s not just unfair—it’s totally dismissive. Emotions are human, and both partners should be allowed to express them.
7. They Expect You to Prioritize Them, But They Put Themselves First
Does it feel like you’re constantly rearranging your life to make them happy, but when you need something, they’re suddenly too busy or unavailable? A relationship should be a partnership where both people put in the effort. If they’re always the number one priority in their own life, maybe it’s time to make yourself a priority too.
8. They Want Your Support 24/7, But Aren’t There When You Need Them
Supporting each other through thick and thin is what relationships are all about, but if they expect you to be their cheerleader while they’re nowhere to be found when you need a boost, then that’s an unfair double standard. You deserve someone who’s just as committed to lifting you up as you are to them.
9. They Make All the Decisions, But Complain When You Take Charge
Your partner may want to call the shots most of the time, but they might throw a fit when you make a decision without them. If that’s the case and they’re not comfortable with you taking the lead every now and then, that’s a power play. Decision-making should be a team effort, not one person dictating the rules.
10. They Expect Apologies, But Never Say Sorry Themselves
You know the drill: they mess up, and somehow you’re still the one saying sorry. If they expect apologies every time they’re upset but can’t find it in their heart to say those two little words when they’re in the wrong, it’s a clear double standard that you shouldn’t ignore. Owning up to mistakes is a sign of maturity, and both partners should be able to do it.
11. They Can Critique You, But Can’t Handle Criticism
If they can dish it out but can’t take it, that’s a major red flag. Constructive criticism is part of any healthy relationship, but it has to go both ways. If they expect you to listen to their feedback but then suddenly get defensive when you do the same, it’s a sign that they’re not ready to grow together.
12. They Demand Respect, But Don’t Give It in Return
Respect is the foundation of any good relationship, but it has to be mutual. If they expect you to treat them with kindness and understanding while they disregard your feelings or talk down to you, it’s not only imbalanced, it’s a double standard. Respect isn’t just something to demand—it’s something to give.
13. They Hold You to Higher Standards Than They Hold Themselves
It’s exhausting to be in a relationship where you’re expected to be perfect while your partner is seemingly free to make all the mistakes in the book. If they’re quick to judge you but refuse to work on their own flaws, then that’s a double standard that’s impossible to live up to. Relationships should be about growing together, not one person holding the other to unreachable standards.
14. They Expect You to Forgive and Forget, But Hold Grudges Forever
It’s one thing to forgive and move on, but if they expect you to brush off their mistakes while they keep bringing up all of your past issues, then that’s not okay. Forgiveness should be a two-way street, not a one-sided road where they get to move on with no consequences.
15. They’re Jealous and Insecure, But Expect You to Be Totally Chill
Jealousy is a tricky emotion, but it gets even trickier when they’re allowed to feel insecure while expecting you to stay completely unfazed by their behavior. If they’re constantly checking up on you but get annoyed if you ask a single question about their day, it’s a double standard that’s keeping the relationship unbalanced.
