Here’s Why You Should Never Take The Guy Who Dumped You Back

Do you think getting back together with your ex shows maturity? It doesn’t. When two people break up, it’s because one of them (or both) think their life will be better without the other person. Your ex dumped you because he wanted to, and no matter how much he apologizes, you shouldn’t take him back — here’s why.

  1. It Was A Messy Breakup. The breakup wasn’t mutual. You felt blindsided when he ended it… over the phone. Rude. A good breakup is where he takes you somewhere private and expresses his emotions in a clear and confident way. He didn’t do that, though. He ended the relationship quickly and without consideration for your feelings. That’s not the kind of guy you need in your life.
  2. The Relationship Wasn’t Perfect. Obviously the relationship wasn’t perfect because he broke up with you. But even before the breakup, there were some major red flags. He was selfish and you catered to him way more than he catered to you. Even during the good times, you never felt he was your one true love, so why take him back?
  3. He Didn’t Have A Good Reason. It’s one thing if he had a really good reason to break up with you, like maybe he was battling depression or was dealing with family drama, but no. He broke up with you because he wanted to “explore his options.” This meant he wanted to sleep with other people and not be considered a cheater. Why would you take someone back who left you in the hope of finding something better?
  4. You’re Just Lonely. Pulse check: Are you bored? That’s probably why you’re considering him. Right now, you don’t have a ton of options and you’re feeling unwanted. Don’t let your emotions force you into a horrible situation. Your boredom will pass and sooner than later, you’ll stop thinking about him altogether. In the meantime, make plans with friends or download a dating app. Keep your mind occupied!
  5. He’s Probably Out Of Options. Consider the other side. We’re not saying you’re not a catch because you are, but why does he want you back after he dumped you in the first place? Is it because he’s also bored and looking for a safe option? Given the track record, he knows you’re not likely to hurt him and that’s exactly why he’s backtracking. Don’t let him use you. Not again.
  6. People Don’t Change. Unless he went through an otherworldly transformation, he’s still the same person he was when he broke up with you. Don’t get us wrong, he’ll act like Prince Charming the first couple of months you’re back together, but he’ll show his butt eventually and revert back to the selfish boy who dumped you to sleep around.
  7. There Are So Many Other Options. The world can feel small sometimes, but it’s really not. There are so many single people looking for real connections — you just have to find them. It might take time and it might mean a few run-ins with the wrong people, but it’s better to put yourself out there than go back to an ex because you’re afraid of taking risks.
  8. You Moved On. How long did it take for you to get over the breakup? Not long, right? You didn’t have to mourn the loss of your relationship because you weren’t heartbroken. You shed a few tears because he hurt your feelings but that was pretty much it. That should tell you something. If the relationship was worth going back to, the breakup would’ve hurt a whole lot more.
  9. He’ll Probably Do It Again. How do you trust someone after they break up with you? You can’t. He hurt your feelings when he left and you have a lot of resentment for him even if you don’t realize it. You might not hate his guts, but you probably don’t really like him. Not to mention if he broke up with you once, you’ll probably always wonder if he’ll do it again. Taking him back would mean dating someone you don’t have confidence in.
  10. You’ll Just Add More Baggage. Getting back together with your ex starts a never-ending cycle of break-ups and make-ups. The longer you do it, the more baggage you’ll have. And when you finally decide to move on, that baggage will come with you and impact your relationships. You don’t want that; especially because you already have baggage. You don’t need to add any more to your plate!
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.