I Never Thought I’d Ghost Someone, But This Guy Left Me With No Choice

Don’t get me wrong — ghosting isn’t something I’m in the habit of doing, nor do I think it’s the decent way to end a relationship. I believe in actually breaking up with someone, but sometimes the circumstances change everything. I have only ever ghosted on one man, and no, I don’t regret it. Here’s why:

  1. I tried to end things multiple times. We were never official, but since we were hanging out on a regular basis, I felt that I did need to tell him I wanted to stop seeing him. He tried to talk me out of it over and over again. We had mutual friends and he kept pulling us back together. I felt trapped with no way out — at least, not a nice way out.
  2. At some point, enough was enough. If he couldn’t take no for an answer then I honestly feel I had no other choice than to completely cut communication — I was forced to ghost him. I could only take so much of him trying to pull me back in. Eventually, I felt it was better for both our sakes to disappear from his phone and his life.
  3. We wanted different things. I had just gotten out of a serious relationship and he’d never been in one. He wanted something real right away, but I was only looking for something casual. I told him that from day one, but he kept pushing for more. We were never on the same page, so it makes sense we were on completely planets at the end.
  4. He wouldn’t leave me alone. Between the calls and the texts, I just couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to take the hint and get over me but he refused to do that. Every time my phone lit up with his name, I got more and more annoyed. I had to stop replying and I hoped he would eventually just leave me alone. He didn’t, though, and at that point, I had to block and delete him from everything.
  5. He liked me way more than I liked him. Our entire “relationship” (if you can even call it that) was off-balance. He always felt more strongly about me than I did about him. While his feelings for me were growing day by day, mine were fading just as fast. The biggest problem wasn’t telling him how I really felt — it was that he just couldn’t accept it. Even worse, he thought he could change my mind.
  6. We had absolutely no future. I’m a woman with a bright future ahead of her. I care about my career and I work passionately for the things I want out of life. He was just kind of drifting, though. He was well beyond his college years and still had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. He went from job to job living paycheck to paycheck. I couldn’t take him seriously because frankly, he didn’t take himself seriously either.
  7. He was way too jealous. I’ve always had guy friends. They were just as important to me as my girlfriends, especially considering we had maintained friendships since grade school. I watched these boys grow into men, and no guy I’ve dated has ever had a problem with them —except this one. He couldn’t accept my friendships when we were hanging out or even after. His jealousy was out of control and in all honesty, it scared me.
  8. He was too needy. I made my intentions for our “non-relationship” clear very early on, but he always wanted more. He wanted all my free time and when I couldn’t hang out, he’d want to be texting. It felt as if he was desperate for love and that was a huge turn-off. The more he obsessed over me, the less I was attracted to him because a low self-esteem just isn’t sexy.
  9. I just didn’t want to deal with him anymore. I tried to end things but it didn’t take and that’s why ghosting was necessary. Replying to him and letting him reel me in again would just continue this torturous cycle. I didn’t want to lead him on. What I really wanted was for him to move on, and I truly believe he couldn’t have done that if I didn’t just disappear from his life.
  10. I needed to do what was best for myself. I wanted to be able to live my life again. He was holding me back from finding a guy I could really love. As much as he probably thought ghosting him wasn’t fair to him. What he was doing wasn’t fair to me. I needed him out of my life for good and the best way to do that was to ice him out.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has been blogging for over four years and writing her whole life. Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. She enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.