We Never Worked Because You Were In Love With Someone Else — Yourself

I fell for you hard, but somehow, no matter how much love I gave you, I never got that same in return. After a long while, I finally realized that you could never love me the way I deserved because you were already in love with someone else — yourself.

  1. You didn’t care about what I needed. I had things that I wanted and needed from our relationship just like you did, but that never seemed to matter. If things didn’t fit your ideal image then they just weren’t important and neither was I. You didn’t care about what I got out of the relationship because it was only good if it benefited you.
  2. You were only concerned with your own happiness. Of course you should care about your own happiness, but if you cared about me at all, you would have cared about mine too. In a healthy relationship, we would both be happy. It’s not normal for someone to only care about their half of the relationship. That should come naturally.
  3. You didn’t know how to compromise. Giving up something for me? Not a chance. It was your way or the highway. You were never willing to sacrifice anything for our relationship and the word “compromise” isn’t even in your vocabulary. I had no say in any part of our relationship. If I wanted to be with you, I had to live in your world. It was about your life, and that’s why we could never create one together.
  4. I was a tool to make you feel even better about yourself. I don’t know if you ever even knew the real me and I don’t think you really cared about that. You just wanted to use me. You wanted me to tell you how amazing you were, and you wanted all the benefits of a relationship without giving anything in return. I was just a tool and it took me way too long to realize that.
  5. Even our sex life was about you. It was all about what you wanted in bed and your orgasm. You never cared to even ask if I was good. You weren’t a generous lover, you were a selfish one. We weren’t making love like I thought we were, we were just having sex because your only goal was to get yourself off. My orgasm didn’t matter to you, just like I didn’t matter to you.
  6. You were never there when I needed you. I was always there for you at the drop of a hat, but where we you when I needed you? Nowhere to be found. You got a girlfriend out of me, but I never really got a boyfriend out of you. You were such a big part of my life but I was nothing important in yours. I couldn’t count on you then, and soon enough I realized that I would never be able to because you didn’t care enough to try.
  7. You were too selfish to even be capable of real love. You loved yourself so much that there wasn’t enough room for you to love me too. It most cases it’s good to love yourself, but you took it to a whole different level. You were your own soulmate. You didn’t really want to find a partner. The worst part is you’re still so self-centered that you think that one-way relationship was actually real love.
  8. You always thought you were too good for me. I don’t take it personally because I finally realized that no woman will ever be good enough for you. You think you’re in a league of your own. In your mind, everyone else is beneath you, and I can’t be with a man who thinks like that. If you can’t see how amazing I am, then you’re not good enough for me.
  9. You expected my life to revolve around you. I always had to make my schedule work around yours. You never made time for me but you expected me to devote all my time to you. We were both busy AF, but you never even considered what was going on in my life. I loved you enough to make things work, but I know you wouldn’t have done the same for me.
  10. You never cared how I felt. Our whole relationship was always about how you felt every second of every single day. Not once did you ever check in to see how I was doing. It was all about you, you, you. You didn’t care about my day, my happiness, or how I felt about our relationship. As long as I was in love with you, that’s all that mattered, even if it was killing me.
  11. You’re your own happily ever after. I could never be “The One” for you. No one is because you’ll never be in love with anyone as much as you’re in love with yourself. You’re your own biggest fan. There’s no room in your life for another person — at least, not someone that wants to be equal to you. You couldn’t give me the love I deserved. In fact, you couldn’t give me any sort of love at all. When you wear it all down, you’re just a narcissist whose best chance is to ride off into the sunset all by yourself.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.