Why Nice Guys Are Actually Scary AF When You’re Used To Dating Bad Guys

Why Nice Guys Are Actually Scary AF When You’re Used To Dating Bad Guys ©iStock/g-stockstudio

If you’ve dated a lot of a-holes who treated you like crap, the prospect of a good and honest man probably seems like a miracle — then, out of nowhere, that miracle shows up. While it’s awesome that you finally have a great guy in your life, the thought of dating and getting serious with him is actually pretty terrifying. Meeting a nice guy is actually scary AF when you’re used to dating a-holes.

  1. You’re not sure if you like him all that much in the beginning. When a nice guy finally shows up, it’s hard to find yourself fully attracted to him right off the bat. It’s not that he’s not awesome, it’s just that you’re used to that stomach flip and the element of danger that comes with meeting a guy who’s a complete jerk. Like, what? No drama? What’s the catch?
  2. You’re constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. When you’re used to a-holes and finally meet a guy who’s truly kind, you’re always waiting and assuming that there’s some dark secret or crappy behavior is just around the corner. It gets scarier as things progress too. Basically, dating a nice guy after a bunch of a-holes is kind of like watching a horror movie — the gloomy music chimes hard and you’re waiting for the killer to jump out at any given moment, but then you realize you’re actually just watching a Disney movie and there’s nothing scary about it at all.
  3. You think his kind gestures have an ulterior motive. When the nice guy does something, well, nice, you can’t help but turn your head to the side a little and wonder what he actually wants in return for this foreign act of kindness. Is he just trying to get in your pants? Is this some type of acid trip? Is he actually human? WTF!
  4. It’s hard for you to really open up around him. Because your past has taught you to be a little more guarded going forward, it genuinely takes you a while to open up to a guy who’s finally sweet to you. You’ve allowed yourself to be vulnerable before and it kicked you in the face, so you’re going to be a little hesitant to let him truly have a piece of your heart. It’s a scary ass process, but you’ll get there.
  5. You wonder if you’re actually conscious and not in some type of coma. No really, is this real life?
  6. You’re hesitant to let yourself get comfortable. Meeting a nice guy after a ton of a-holes isn’t just scary, it’s a slow process to get yourself to a real place of comfort. You question what parts of your softness he deserves because so far, everyone before him has left you with nothing but disappointment. Why can’t this dating crap just be easier? Ugh.
  7. You’re constantly on guard waiting for the a-hole behavior. Just as you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop, you might find yourself analyzing this guy who seems too good to be true, wondering where his a-hole flag is hiding. You’ve been with so many idiots who have flipped the script on you before when you thought you were in safe territory, so it’s hard to believe that pattern won’t repeat. Remember, no matter how many a-holes you’ve experienced, there are nice guys out there too — this could finally be one of them.
  8. You realize you might have found a unicorn, then proceed to freak out further. Once you finally come to the realization that you’re not in fact dreaming, high, or in an alternate universe, you start to think that this guy could be the guy you’ve been hoping for all along. Just as you begin to enjoy it, you realize how scary it is that you might have actually found your unicorn — you just had to brave a bunch of a-holes first. Don’t freak out, you’ve got this.