The No-BS Truth Behind The Excuses Players Use

The No-BS Truth Behind The Excuses Players Use ©iStock/Kontrec

Players are incredibly talented when it comes to coming up with excuses for their crappy behavior. If you’ve heard some of these lines from a player, you’re probably wondering what they’re really trying to say. Here’s the brutal truth behind them:

  1. “Look, I’m still finding myself…” This is their way of saying that they don’t want things to get serious with you. However, they don’t have a problem stringing you along for as long as they feel it will be useful. Basically, they’re leading you on because they like having sex on tap but don’t feel like committing.
  2. “I’m too busy for a relationship.” This phrase is total BS. No matter how busy he is, he’d make time if he was actually interested. When a guy says this, he’s either giving you the kiss-off or making sure you understand that you’re his lowest priority.
  3. “New phone. Who’s this?” Though this could be real, it’s most likely not. If he’s texting you this after he ghosted you, he’s trying to pretend that he didn’t ghost you in order to get back into your pants. If he’s texting you this after you texted him, he didn’t save your number because he figured you’re a “one and done” deal.
  4. “I just got out of a relationship. I’m scared of being hurt again.” This is a classic way for guys to excuse themselves from potentially being in a committed relationship with you while also getting pity sex as a bonus. It’s also a phrase that’s used when they say or do something hurtful to you. Either way, being hurt isn’t an excuse to be a douchebag.
  5. “I really like you, but I don’t know whether I’m ready to be in a relationship.” He’s trying to get you to put up with his crap and be a hookup buddy if he says this. The fact is that he wants a relationship — just not with you. Don’t try to convince him otherwise. Just bail, and cut your losses with this loser.
  6. “Let’s take things slow. If it happens, it happens.” Though this could be a guy’s way of saying that he doesn’t want to go at your pace, more often than not, it’s a sign that he’s taking pleasure in stringing you along. If he says this, it’s often a sign that you’re a “placeholder.”
  7. “Can we still be friends?” This isn’t really an excuse at the start, but the fact is that he’s hoping you’ll say yes so that he can excuse his bad behavior later. After all, you can’t get angry at him if you’re “just friends,” right?
  8. “I know I’m taken, but I totally could see myself dating you.” This means he’s looking to either cheat on his current girlfriend or have a backup plan. Don’t fall for this sleazy trick. Don’t be his backup plan.
  9. “You’re crazy. WTF?” Usually guys say this when they want to discredit girls or when a girl actually reacts reasonably to him being a player. If a guy tells you this in any form, drop him like a rock and put him on blast. They’re doing this to control you, and it’s time to take that control back.
  10. “Don’t be so uptight, jeez.” In other words, he’s going to try to wheedle his way into getting nudes from you or otherwise put pressure on your sexual boundaries. If he says this, he doesn’t respect you enough to treat you the way you should be treated. You should walk if a guy tells you this.
  11. “Get thicker skin. You’re so sensitive.” This is his way of excusing himself from being a jerk. He knows he’s being mean, and he knows it’s abusive. But, he doesn’t care. Rather than apologizing or NOT DOING IT, he’s shifting the blame on you because it’s easier for HIM to deal with it.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.