No More Candy & Flowers—I Want Honesty & Vulnerability

If a guy loves me, I don’t want to know by how many roses he buys me. I’d rather he write me a simple note or better yet just tell me straight-up in person. Honest and vulnerable guys are so hard to find nowadays, but that’s exactly what I’m looking for.

A real man won’t lie about his past or his present.

There won’t be any reason for a real man to hide anything. In fact, it’ll be the total opposite. He’ll want me to know everything, every single little detail because he’ll want me to know who he truly is. When things are getting sketchy and I can’t really piece them together, that’s when I start getting  concerned.

When I see someone being vulnerable, it lets me know I can be too. 

This is so huge for me and I know I’m not alone. If I see someone opening up their entire heart and soul to me, then hell yes I’m going to do the same. I appreciate and respect that so much because I know it’s never easy. The only true way to repay that is by reciprocating it.

I want to know his biggest insecurities.

It’s so insanely attractive to me when I get to see this side of someone. We all know that there isn’t a person in this world who isn’t insecure about at least one thing. The worst thing is when someone tries to act they aren’t, as if they could fool anyone. Cut the crap and show me the real stuff. I don’t do surface-level relationships. No thanks.

Better yet, I want to know about the dreams that he’s had his whole life. 

I’d even go as far as to say this kinda makes me swoon. When I see a man who’s truly ambitious and will stop at (almost) nothing to make it happen, I can’t help but drop my jaw. Finally, there’s a guy who doesn’t just look forward to getting drunk on Friday night with his buddies. The world has so much more to offer, and I love a guy who can see that.

I shouldn’t be the only one sounding nerdy when I talk about my passions. 

This too makes me swoon. When a guy gets caught up talking about the plans he has for his life or what he loves, it’s amazing. Honestly, get happy when someone else is that happy. Those kinds of things are contagious (and make me a million times more attracted to the person).

What happened to guys knowing it’s OK to cry sometimes? 

I’ve seen quotes that read something like, “real men cry” and that phrase has really grown on me. There’s something so raw and real about tears. I’d get worried if someone never cried because it either means they have no emotion or don’t ever want to around me. I’m not really sure which one is worse.

How about knowing it’s OK to be there while you cry? 

This is somewhat more important. I’ll be there for a guy no matter what he’s going through or how ugly the cry. However, what I crave and need so much is someone who will do the exact same for me. I value those guys who can see me at my worst and not want to run. I don’t want to have to feel like I need to apologize for having emotions.

Chocolates, while nice, don’t also make the guy sweeter. 

Chocolate doesn’t fix mistakes. Chocolate doesn’t hide lies. Although it’s a sweet gesture, there are so many more sentimental things I’d rather receive. If someone took the time to write me a letter and mail it to my house, I’d just about pass out. It’s so simple but would be something I’d cherish forever.

If he’s only choosing one day a year to tell me how he feels, I’m going to run. 

Just because there’s a designated day for love doesn’t mean it can’t be every day, and if I ever come into contact with someone who doesn’t believe that, it’s time to get the hell out. Expressing love and showing/sharing how you feel is so important in a relationship, and I don’t see many that survive if they can’t do that.

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