No Good Can Come Of Being A Hopeless Romantic—It’s Time To Be Realistic About Love

Being a romantic and single these days is basically looking for trouble. Things that were once perfectly reasonable dating expectations nowadays scare off men, and hopeless romantics come off as needy and desperate. You shouldn’t have to change who you are to find love, but losing your rose-colored glasses might be the best thing that happens to you for all the following reasons:

You’ll see people for who they truly are.

As the now-infamous quote goes, “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Romanticism blurs your judgment and you see others like diamonds in the rough that need your help to reach their full potential rather than the toxic messes they actually are. Instead of wasting your precious time trying to change others, you should just come to terms with the truth that they’re not worth your time. This would make dating life—and life in general—so much better.

You’ll feel grateful for your single life. 

Once you accept that there’s no “happily ever after,” you become truly grateful for the total freedom and potential you have now. All those married couples around you aren’t better off than you are just because they’ve found each other. Single life is a choice—you don’t want to settle for a guy who isn’t worth giving up your freedom for.

You’ll seem more fun and you’ll have more fun too. 

For some strange reason, as soon as you ditch romanticism, guys are more attracted to you and find you way more interesting. Perhaps it has to do with a change in the vibes you give off—you’re no longer holding out for Mr. Right to transform our lives but instead, you’re taking charge and going after the life you want. Guys like it when you’re strong and grounded instead of hopeless and needy.

There’s no more pressure to find “The One.” 

Finding your soulmate is by far the most stressful romantic goal in life. Accepting that a “soulmate” isn’t someone you HAVE to find by the time we’re 30 (or whatever other age) will take off the pressure. Life’s a journey, and maybe the person who will stay by your side forever is just another regular dude out there in the world that you’re not quite ready to meet.

You’ll stop putting relationships on a pedestal. 

Being single can mess badly with your head. You compare new partners to your exes and feel they can never live up to their standards. However, believing the grass is always greener on the other side is reductive and pointless. If your exes were so great in the first place, they’d still be around.

You give yourself permission to have some great no strings sex. 

Putting romantic expectations on a guy you want to hook up with is pure self-sabotage. Just because there’s strong sexual chemistry between you doesn’t mean that there’s also an invisible deeper emotional connection. He might be your sexual soulmate but that doesn’t make him your life soulmate or a good candidate for a serious relationship.

You’re less likely to misinterpret mixed messages or mistake lust for love.  

The romantic in you always wants to decipher hidden messages in a guy’s behavior and trace signs of his interest in you. Instead of wasting your time tracing hints of affection or finding excuses for the lack thereof, you should just accept that you can’t hide real interest. When a guy can’t stop thinking about you, he reaches out and makes it known. Men aren’t really that complicated.

You’ll focus on things that really matter. 

Romantic expectations can mess with your priorities. Even though you tell yourself every day that you need a kind, caring and stable guy, you end up falling for the bad boy who isn’t looking for something serious just because he fulfills a romantic fantasy. Being realistic about what really matters in a relationship can help you fall for the nice guy who wants to make you happy for a change.

Life has much bigger blessings than romantic love.

Even though romantic love is no doubt extremely thrilling, there’s more to life. Close friendships, family, a rewarding job, and traveling the world are things we should never take for granted. Be grateful for the good things in your life and be aware that not everybody is as lucky as you.

The right person is more likely to come along.

When you cling onto your romantic expectations, you don’t see the world clearly. Life isn’t a romantic fairytale where troubles end as soon as you meet a guy who holds the doors open or buys you flowers and expensive dinners. Chivalry is important but it’s not all that makes a guy a good match. As soon as you give up on the fairytale, a special guy will come along who’s actually right for you. And who knows—maybe in the realm of love and relationships, that’s as good as it gets.

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