Why No Guy Will Ever Be My Everything

Why No Guy Will Ever Be My Everything ©iStock/soup__studio

It might sound harsh, but no matter what happens in my life, no one will ever be my everything. He might mean the world to me, but I insist on valuing myself first, forever. Can’t I just love someone without devoting my heart, soul, mind, and body to him? Yes, it’s possible and to me, it’s the only way to build a healthy, lasting relationship.

  1. I can exist without them. Yes, it’d hurt if my boyfriend left me. I’d cry, I’d get pissed, and I’d go through all the usual breakup steps… but I’d eventually move on. I wouldn’t cease to exist. I’d still have a life. I’d just have to get used to not having him around.
  2. I’ll always have other people in my life. I can’t have just one person be my everything. I have friends and family that I love dearly. It seems a little selfish to exclude them all for just one person.
  3. That’s too much for one person. I know it sounds romantic, but you’re putting a lot of pressure on the other person. It’s like saying “I love you and now I belong 100% to you.” It’s great to say you’ll be faithful, but I’m not going to make one person responsible for everything I want, need, say, or do.
  4. I have a life outside of him. Believe it or not, I enjoy having a life outside of my boyfriend. I like doing things he doesn’t like. I love going out with my friends without him. I miss him when he’s gone, but if he was my everything, I’d never be able to do anything without him, and that’s just not how I want to live.
  5. I like being alone sometimes. No matter how many people are in my life, I still like being completely by myself sometimes. I want to get lost in a book without someone asking me what I’m reading. I want to blast music and dance while I clean.
  6. I don’t want to be someone else’s everything. I don’t want that responsibility and guilt myself, so why would I do it to anyone else? I want to know he would be fine without me.
  7. I’m my own better half. I know we all jokingly call our partners or best friends our better halves. In all honesty, I’m my better half. I’m a whole person all by myself, so I don’t need an everything. I’m already whole.
  8. I have dreams and plans. Having someone be my everything means always putting them first. It means letting go of my hopes, dreams and plans for what they want. Hell no! It’s still my life and I’ll live it my way.
  9. I’m too independent. I don’t think any truly independent woman would ever consider anyone her everything. We need space and freedom. Tying ourselves to someone that closely goes against everything in our nature.
  10. I want to feel love, not be consumed by it. There’s a difference between being in love and being consumed by it. The first feels amazing; the second is suffocating. It ruins your life little by little. I’ve watched it happen and it’s not pretty or romantic.
  11. I know it could all end one day. It might sound pessimistic, but I honestly don’t know for certain whether a relationship will last forever or not. The thought that I’d be so devastated by losing a guy that I’d no longer function or be myself scares the hell out of me.
  12. I’m building a life around my needs. People come and go, but I’ll always have myself. That’s why I have to focus on my needs and what’s most important to me. It’s not selfish. After all, if I’m miserable or I tie all my happiness to one person, I’m not going to be happy and that’ll negatively affect my relationship. See, it’s not just about me.
Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.