I Have No Idea What I’m Doing With My Life… And I’m Totally Fine With It

There are plenty of people out there who know where they’re going in life and when, but I’m not one of them. I feel like I’m pretty clueless when it comes to living, but even though it’s enough to make some people panic, this is why I’m not worried about being a little lost:

  1. I trust in the universe’s planMaybe I sound like a hippie, but I don’t care. I really think our destinies are set out for us from the start, so who am I to fight that? Life is going to have a lot of ups and downs, and I know that I’m going to feel lost or confused for much of it. But I trust that things will work out exactly the way they’re supposed to. When I’m struggling, I try to embrace it and remember that this is all part of the plan… even if it isn’t part of MY plan.
  2. I’m just faking it until I make it. To be honest, I’m pretty much stumbling blindly through life. A lot of my friends think that I really have my act together, but it’s all a facade. I’m absolutely clueless when it comes to a lot of things, especially how I’ve gotten to where I am and where I’ll go from here. But pretending like I know what I’m doing has worked out for me so far, so I’m trusting it to carry me through the rest of life as well.
  3. I care more about the journey than the destination. I have lots of friends who seem to be insanely good at adulting. They have spouses, houses, jobs that require them to wear suits, the whole shebang. I feel like I’m so far behind them, but at the same time, I’m not upset about it. I may not have a plan for my life, but that doesn’t mean I’m enjoying it any less. I admire the people who can set long-term goals and cut a clear path towards them, but I’d rather spend my energy enjoying the sights along the way.
  4. The best parts of my life weren’t planned. I used to be determined to figure out my long-term plan for life, and when it fell through, I considered myself a failure. But instead, it just helped more pieces fall into place. The key components of my happiness today are definitely NOT what I thought they’d be five years ago, but the fact that they popped up without warning makes them even more special to me.
  5. I’m focused on creating myself, not finding myself. A lot of people seem to have a fixation on “finding themselves,” as though some crucial piece of who they are is going to pop up after they hit some great life milestone. I don’t believe that I’m lost, though. Rather than seeing myself as incomplete, I see myself as a work in progress, like a lazy notebook sketch that will someday be a masterpiece. I’m sure that there will be some hiccups along the way, but I’m confident that the finished product will be unique and beautiful all the same.
  6. I’m at the age of transition. There are people in their mid-twenties who have everything figured out, but I’m perfectly content to accept that I’m supposed to still have some wiggle room when it comes to discovering how I want my life to go. This is the age where a lot of people switch jobs, move to different places, and generally learn who they’re supposed to be. Maybe by my thirties (or forties) I’ll know what I’m doing, but until then, I accept that I’m going to go through a lot of changes before I learn where I’m supposed to be.
  7. Life always has different plans than I do. Every time I come up with some semblance of a plan for myself, life laughs in my face and throws me a curve ball. At this point, I’ve just learned to accept that my “set in stone” plans aren’t really all that concrete. So rather than stressing myself out about what I’m “supposed” to be doing, I’m just going to relax and let the wind blow me wherever it may.
  8. I accept that mistakes are part of the journey. If I had a dollar for every time I royally messed up, I’d never have to worry about money again. I used to panic when I made mistakes that affected my future, but I’ve lived enough to know that everything will work itself out. It’s never fun when things go wrong, but once you accept that you have to take the good with the bad, it gets a lot easier to make it through.
  9. I trust that where I am is where I’m supposed to be. Sometimes, I just have to take a deep breath and remember that this is all meant to be… even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time. I may feel like I’m fumbling around like an idiot, but so are a lot of other people, and they aren’t doing so bad, either. Sure, I’m actively trying to make a better life for myself, but I understand that it’s not a smooth process. I won’t get there right away, but I know that each step is important in its own way.
  10. I figure things out as I go. Does it always work out in my favor? Eh, no. But I prefer winging it to stressing out over what should or shouldn’t happen. It might not work for everyone, but for me, it’s easier to live and learn in the moment. Yeah, it’s kind of an excuse for not having my life together, but as long as it works for me, I don’t care what anyone else has to say about it.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu brown belt. She's also a TEFL/TESOL-certified ESL teacher and an equine enthusiast. Originally from Pennsylvania, she lived in Costa Rica for a while before moving to Australia. In addition to her work as a writer and editor for Bolde, she also has bylines with Little Things and regularly writes for Jiu-Jitsu Times.

You can follow Averi on Instagram @bjjaveri or on Twitter under the same handle.