No, I’m Not Going To Download Tinder & I Wish People Would Stop Telling Me To

I have no issue with people who look for love on dating sides—to each their own! However, I just can’t get into it. Everyone keeps telling me to download Tinder in particular if I want to find a guy but it just isn’t for me.

  1. Admittedly, I did download it once before. Yes, I actually used to have Tinder. When the app first came out in 2015, I swiped left, right, and talked to my fair share of dudes. But after about a month of having the app, I was immediately turned off because of all the creepy and possibly disturbed guys that were hitting me up. I deleted it immediately and have never looked back. Something tells me the situation hasn’t improved on there.
  2. Looking for love on Tinder is time-consuming as hell. If scrolling through Tinder matches is similar to scrolling through social media (which I know it is), I can’t hang. I don’t need another app that stops me from living my life—that’s what Instagram is for. Not only that, but even if you spend hours scrolling through possible matches, there’s no guarantee that what you see is what you’d get in real life and I’d rather not take my chances.
  3. What if I don’t get any matches? If I download Tinder, I know for a fact I’ll feel like crap if I don’t get any good matches (and by good, I mean good-looking—excuse my honesty). I don’t want to feel bad about myself if no one hits me up or if the guys I swipe right on don’t pop up as matches. There’s enough rejection in my day to day life (not to sound dramatic) but I don’t need Tinder to provide more.
  4. I don’t want to be confronted with my past. I know a lot of people who’ve ended up dating someone they already knew after matching with said person on Tinder. Hmm, is that the point of this app? To reconnect with someone you could’ve dated in high school but didn’t because you didn’t like them then but now that you two are both single and more desperate to be in a relationship, it’s a match made in heaven? Not judging, just asking. If that’s the case, it’s REALLY not my scene.
  5. I have no interest in selling myself. Not only do I have to pick pictures that would hopefully make me attractive to the opposite sex, I also have to pick a bio that makes me sound sexy and sophisticated without being too bitchy. That’s a lot to worry about, man! And more importantly, I don’t want the world to be able to judge me based off a few images and words. That’s not fair. I want the world to at least talk to me face-to-face for a few minutes before they categorize me.
  6. I’m not trying to come across my exes. The number of times my friends have told me that their ex-boyfriends have popped up on their Tinder is wild to me, but I guess I get it since it’s all about location and whatnot. However, I couldn’t handle seeing my ex, or anyone I used to sleep with, on there. Too many memories.
  7. It seems kind of judgy, no? I know myself and I know if I’m on Tinder, I’m going to be hella judging every guy I see on there. “He’s too short.” “His nose is weird.” “I hate the gap between his eyes.” I can hear myself now. I don’t want to be that girl finding flaws in guys, the same way I don’t want to be the girl guys are showing their friends and asking, “What do you think? Should I swipe right?”
  8. There’s no way I’d actually meet up with a match. I’m the biggest scaredy cat in the world. Seriously, “STRANGER DANGER” is kind of my motto. I don’t care how long I chat with him and I don’t care how amazing he seems via messages, I’d never make plans to get dinner with him because he’s a stranger and I don’t go out with weird dudes I don’t actually know and who could be serial killers.
  9. Tinder keeps no secrets. So, let’s say I match with a guy I really like. And let’s say by some miracle I decided to meet up with him in person. Then, let’s say after a few weeks of “dating,” I check his Tinder and find he was active five minutes ago. That will hurt my feelings and force me to call him out and possibly do something he’d deem “crazy.” No thanks.
  10. I don’t want the convenience. There’s something kind of weird to me about being able to look at “possible matches” whenever I want. I see people on Tinder when they’re on a lunch break. I see people on Tinder in line at The Coffee Bean. I see people on Tinder at the gym. First of all, what kind of data plan do those people have that they can be on Tinder that much? And second of all, what the hell? It’s almost like Tinder is a game, something to pass the time with. That’s not right!
  11. I don’t want to get murdered. Am I the only one seriously concerned about being murdered? It’s low key a fear of mine. And with my luck, I’d probably match with a serial killer and then find myself tied up in his basement, beaten and bloody and unable to escape. I’m not sure I want to take that risk, at least not right now.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.