It’s taken me a while to become comfortable with my single status, but I can honestly say that I’m exactly where I want to be in life. The lessons I’ve learned from my years of dating have made me who I am, and I’m grateful for it. I’m never going to change, and I’m sure that no matter what happens, I’ll never do these things:
- Lose myself in a relationship Been there, done that. I think every girl makes this rookie mistake with her first love and I definitely did that at the age of 18. Never again. I’ve created an amazing life for myself and would never jeopardize that for a boyfriend. The idea seems totally crazy to me now.
- Change who I am for a guy If he doesn’t like me for who I am, then I’m not the right girl for him and he’s definitely not the one for me. There are plenty of fish in the (online) sea and we can each find our own. Pretending to be someone that I’m not is a movie plot, not real life. It would only make me feel like a fraud and it definitely wouldn’t make the relationship work since it would be doomed from the start.
- Ignore what’s right in front of me Red flags are there for a reason. I listen to them and believe them, even if I don’t want to. I will never, ever ignore my gut when it’s telling me that the guy I really like is too immature to commit or slipping away from me.
- Be desperate for approval from her family and friends If the people in my life think that I should make more of an effort to date, or if they don’t like the person that I’ve chosen, that’s honestly on them. I can’t live my life according to what others expect from me. I have to be myself and make my own choices and hope that they eventually come around.
- Date for the sake of dating I used to fill up my agenda with first date after first date. It seemed like that was the whole point. First dates were the prize in a mess of awkward chats and uncertainty. Now I know that going on a date just for the sake of it is a horrible idea. If I don’t truly believe that there would be a chance with this guy and if I don’t honestly want to meet him, then I’d rather stay home.
- Believe that a guy can change I would love to think that people can change but I just don’t. If a guy shows me who he is, I totally believe him. Some guys aren’t cut out for relationships. Others aren’t interested in dating only one girl. It’s not up to me to make them a better person. It’s their problem.
- Believe in second chances If a guy treats me like crap and then comes crawling back, littering our text and in-person conversations with promises, I’m not interested. I’ll never think that a second chance is a good idea. If it was going to work, it would work the first time around.
- Live a miserable single life There’s no reason to be upset just because I don’t have a boyfriend. That doesn’t sound like much fun. Instead, I’m going to make the most of my life and enjoy myself, regardless of my relationship status.
- Blame other people for my mistakes I’m not perfect and I know I’ve been awkward on dates or forgotten how to have an actual conversation. I’m not going to place blame on other people all the time. I have my own part to play in this thing called dating and that’s okay.
- Dwell on the negative moments It’s impossible to be single and dating today and not face the worst of what this whole generation has to offer from being treated like crap to wondering if anyone even wants to go on a real date anymore. I’m never going to be the girl who thinks about the bad stuff. I’d rather keep my head held high and a smile on my face.
- Live in the past Sure, I have my moments when I wonder if I should have tried harder to make things work with my ex-boyfriends. I miss people that I’ve let go and lament that there’s no such thing as time travel. But I’m not going to be that girl anymore. I don’t live in the past and I believe that when it comes to my love story, the best is ahead of me, not behind me.
- Watch my life pass me by If I don’t take control of my life, then why am I even here? I’m crushing my career goals and want to do the same thing when it comes to finding that elusive thing called love. If I try my best, I don’t see any reason why this wouldn’t happen. And then I can be the girl who always believed that love was possible, even when it didn’t seem like that was even remotely true.
