How To Handle A No Strings Attached Arrangement Like A Pro

All you want is a FWB arrangement, but somehow feelings always seem to get in the way of your good time. So how does a single girl stay unattached and uninterested when you’re seriously looking for a non-relationship with no drama? Here’s how to handle a no strings attached relationship with ease. You’ve got this.

  1. Don’t pick your actual friend. The whole idea of no strings attached is to keep it casual. Therefore, literal friends with benefits never work. A no strings attached relationship is about sex, not friendship. A friend counts on you, and what you really need is a relationship with absolutely no commitment.
  2. Don’t go on dates. At least, not with each other. Technically you’re single, therefore you’re free to date anyone other than your hookup buddy. If you start spending time watching Netflix and eating dinner or even breakfast together, then you’re going to confuse the lines of your relationship. The relationship is about sex and nothing else, so keep it that way.
  3. Keep the conversation casual. In order to stay unattached, you need to keep things on a need-to-know basis. Don’t discuss your days, thoughts, preferences, or any intimate details of your lives. After you’re done with the deed, don’t hang around. There are no sleepovers here. He only needs to satisfy you physically, not emotionally, so keep it cool and head home.
  4. See other people. You don’t have to sleep with a bunch of different guys, but you can at least flirt, text, or even go on dates with other men. You can’t start focusing on your hookup buddy as a potential. Remember always that you’re a single woman, completely unattached. Never let your hook-up stand in the way of your real life.
  5. Don’t ask about the other women in his life. If you’re trying to figure out how to handle a no strings attached relationship, this rule really is level 101. You’re not his girlfriend, so you don’t need to check up on him. You need to stay emotionally uninvolved, so you shouldn’t care what he’s doing when he’s not with you. Focus on what you’re doing when you’re not with him, because this is your life, and he’s barely even part of it.
  6. Clarify your status. In order for this to work, you both need to be on the same page, so have a conversation and clarify your status as a single woman. If you’re both openly aware of this less-than-casual relationship, then there’s no awkward confusion and you will both be saved from the heartbreak of wanting something more.
  7. Experiment sexually. You don’t have the added stress of caring what your partner thinks of you, so now is the time to explore all your deepest fantasies. Just because you don’t talk about the innermost details of your life doesn’t mean you can’t talk about anything. The one thing you really should be talking about is sex. Don’t be afraid to tell him what you want.
  8. Stay safe. Now more than ever you need to practice safe sex. You don’t know what he’s doing when he’s not with you or how promiscuous he’s been in the past. You don’t have a friendship, let alone a relationship with this man. Don’t risk your entire future on a hookup buddy.
  9. Have fun. This is one relationship you don’t have to take so seriously, so relax. No strings attached should be calm and casual. You don’t have the stress that real relationships entail. So enjoy the freedom and every orgasm while it lasts. If there comes a time when it’s not fun anymore, then the arrangement has outstayed its welcome. Time to move on!
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.