No, You’re Not A Couple Just Because These 10 Things Happen

You’ve been “hanging out” for a while and things are going really well. You really like each other and you’re pretty sure you’re basically a couple even if you haven’t actually had a conversation about it yet. Sadly, even if these 10 things are happening, that doesn’t automatically mean that you’re in an official relationship.

You go on dates. Does he call them dates or are you guys just hanging out? Unless he’s actually said that you’re dating, then he could just be making the most of enjoying time spent with you, without it going anywhere more serious.

You kiss. So you guys hung out and then kissed afterward. It’s not 1960. It doesn’t mean that things are progressing anywhere except perhaps towards the bedroom. This doesn’t mean you guys are an item.

You have sex. Again, just because he couldn’t wait to take you home so you guys could explore his bedroom, it doesn’t mean that you’re a couple or that he feels something more for you than just friendship. Heck, he could be thinking you’re FWBs, while you’re hoping you’re in a committed relationship.

He invited you out with his friends. It’s cool when a guy invites you to meet his friends. That can sometimes feel like you’re so important to him that he can’t wait for you to be introduced to his loved ones. Still, he might just think it would be fun for you all to hang out.

He held your hand in front of his friends. While this might feel more like you guys are a couple or heading that way, it really doesn’t mean anything major. Chances are he’s hugging and holding hands with his platonic female friends, after all, so pay attention to his behavior around them. He might just be the charming, affectionate type.

He texts you every day. When you meet and click with someone, it feels good to get into a regular texting habit. You guys might chat to each other via text every day. But what are you chatting about? If you’re only sharing memes and having a laugh about stuff, that’s not really a sign that you’re moving forward to something bigger. In addition, even if you are talking about deeper stuff, maybe he’s just keen on doing that with lots of people.

He talks about his problems. Does the guy you’ve started chatting to always want to confide in you about his problems? Are you the one he turns to so he can vent and unleash all his drama on you? On the one hand, it’s good to be someone the person can confide in. But on the other, if you’re his drama doorstep, that could mean he’s not keen on easing into getting to know you and balancing that with making a good impression. He’s just showing you all his demons right off the bat as if you were friends… and you probably are.

He gets jealous. When he sees you chatting to some other guy or you mention a guy you’ve started working with, he’s quick to express jealousy. If you guys haven’t made your relationship official, it’s actually insulting that he would try to lay claim on you like this. Also, it’s worth bearing in mind that he might act jealous about other guys but not actually want to date you. Huh. Sort of like wanting to have your attention but not actually want to be your boyfriend.

He said he likes you. Now, this is a little more convincing that you could be heading to relationshipville, but he could be saying that he likes you without actually wanting to become a couple. There’s “like” and then there’s “like like.” Basically, it’s worth exploring those feelings and getting to the bottom of what he wants to do with those feelings so you don’t waste your time or get ahead of yourself.

You’re almost positive he feels the same as you. You feel strongly about him and think it’s possible that he could feel the same thing for you. Why not, after all? You’re a great catch. And you are, but you’re not psychic and he might not be on exactly the same page as you when it comes to feelings and relationship goals. Unless you guys have defined the relationship and made things exclusive, anything could be happening behind the scenes. Bottom line: It’s time to DTR!  

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