The days of saying anything you want are long gone. Our language is constantly evolving, and what was once considered perfectly acceptable can now raise eyebrows or cause genuine hurt. Whether you’re on board with these changes or rolling your eyes, staying informed about shifting social norms helps you navigate conversations more thoughtfully. Here’s a rundown of 15 formerly “normal” expressions and behaviors that many Americans now consider problematic.
1. Calling A Meeting “A Powwow”
You’ve probably heard someone suggest “having a quick powwow” to discuss a work matter, thinking it’s just a casual way to describe an informal meeting. As Indiana University notes, this term comes from sacred gatherings in Indigenous cultures that hold deep spiritual and ceremonial significance. When you use it to describe your Monday morning status update, you’re unintentionally trivializing these important cultural practices.
Many Indigenous people have spoken out about how this casual appropriation feels dismissive of their traditions and heritage. Instead of grabbing your coworkers for a “powwow,” simply call it what it is—a meeting, a huddle, a check-in, or a discussion. There are plenty of alternatives that don’t reduce another culture’s sacred practices to corporate jargon.
2. Asking “Where Are You Really From?”
You meet someone new, hear their American accent, but notice they look different from what you might consider “typically American” (whatever that means). Before you know it, you’re asking, “But where are you really from?” even after they’ve told you they’re from Chicago or Boston. This question carries an unintended message: you don’t look like you belong here and, according to CNN, it’s veiled racism.
For many Americans who are people of color, this question has been asked countless times throughout their lives, creating a persistent feeling of being viewed as perpetual foreigners in their own country. If you’re genuinely interested in someone’s heritage or background, build a relationship first, and then perhaps ask specifically about their family history or ancestry—not where they’re “really” from, as if their initial answer wasn’t legitimate.
3. Using Outdated Terms For Mental Health Conditions
Remember when people casually described someone as “schizo” or called strict bosses “OCD”? These types of shorthand references to serious mental health conditions were once commonplace in everyday conversation. Using these terms incorrectly not only spreads misinformation about these conditions but also contributes to the stigma that people with actual diagnoses face daily.
Mental health professionals have worked hard to develop more accurate, respectful terminology that acknowledges these conditions as legitimate health concerns rather than personality quirks or insults. Next time you want to describe someone’s changing moods or attention to detail, try using precise language about the specific behavior instead of reaching for a clinical diagnosis as shorthand. Your vocabulary will be richer for it, and you won’t inadvertently hurt someone dealing with these conditions.
4. Making “Spirit Animal” References
“The sloth is totally my spirit animal!” It’s a phrase you’ve probably heard (or said) when identifying with a particular creature’s characteristics. What seems like an innocent way to say you relate to a certain animal’s traits actually borrows from Indigenous spiritual practices where spirit animals hold profound religious and cultural significance, as the National Museum of the American Indian explains.
Many Indigenous communities have spoken out about how this casual usage feels like yet another instance of cherry-picking elements of their culture without understanding or respecting their importance. Instead of claiming a “spirit animal,” you can simply say you identify with or relate to a particular animal—or even that it’s your “kindred spirit” or “personal mascot” if you want to keep it light and fun without the cultural appropriation.
5. Labeling Adult Women As “Girls” In Professional Settings
You might not think twice about referring to your female colleagues as “the girls from accounting” or asking “the new girl” to handle a task. It sounds friendly and casual, right? But consider this: do you also refer to adult men as “boys” in these same professional contexts? Probably not, because it would sound diminutive and unprofessional.
As Forbes explains, when you call adult women “girls” in workplace settings, you’re subtly reinforcing the idea that they’re less mature, less authoritative, and less deserving of the same professional respect as their male counterparts. Making the switch to gender-parallel language—referring to women as “women” just as you’d call men “men”—is a simple change that acknowledges the professional standing of everyone in your workplace.
6. Public Comments About Someone’s Weight
“You look great! Have you lost weight?” or “You’re so skinny, you need to eat something!” Commenting on someone’s body—even when you think you’re paying a compliment—crosses a boundary that many people now recognize as inappropriate. You never know what someone might be going through, from eating disorders to health conditions to medication side effects that affect their weight.
What might seem like a casual observation to you could be triggering for someone who struggles with body image or is dealing with an illness that affects their appearance. A good rule of thumb: if someone hasn’t explicitly invited comments about their body, don’t offer them—not even what you consider positive ones. Focus instead on non-physical qualities or, if you must compliment appearance, stick to choices people make, like their outfit or hairstyle.
7. Casually Using Terms Like “Ghetto” Or “Thug”
You might hear people describe something cheaply made as “ghetto” or label someone dressed a certain way as a “thug” without thinking about the racial undertones these words carry. These terms have become coded language that often reinforces harmful stereotypes about Black and Brown communities, even when that’s not your intention.
The word “ghetto” has a specific historical context related to segregated, under-resourced neighborhoods where marginalized groups were forced to live, while “thug” has increasingly been applied to young Black men in ways it isn’t to others exhibiting similar behaviors. Cutting these words from your casual vocabulary isn’t about being “politically correct”—it’s about recognizing their loaded history and choosing language that doesn’t perpetuate stereotypes that harm real people.
8. Assuming Someone’s Pronouns Based On Appearance
You see someone who appears to be a woman, so you automatically use “she/her” pronouns when referring to them. It seems like common sense, right? But as our understanding of gender has evolved, so has the recognition that gender identity doesn’t always match outward appearance, and assuming pronouns can lead to misgendering someone—an experience that can be genuinely painful for transgender and non-binary individuals.
Making space for people to share their pronouns—whether by sharing yours first or simply asking theirs when appropriate—shows respect for everyone’s right to self-determination. It’s not about getting it perfect every time (we all make mistakes), but about creating an environment where people don’t have to constantly correct others or feel invisible. Small adjustments in how we approach gender in conversation can make a big difference in helping everyone feel seen and respected.
9. Labeling Foods As “Clean” Vs. “Dirty” Or “Bad”
“I’m being good today, just eating clean foods” or “That cake is so bad, but I couldn’t resist!” You’ve probably heard friends talk about their eating habits this way, or maybe you’ve said similar things yourself. This type of morally-charged language around food might seem harmless, but it creates problematic associations between food choices and personal virtue.
When you label certain foods as “clean,” “good,” or “pure” and others as “dirty,” “bad,” or “sinful,” you’re not just talking about nutrition—you’re creating a value judgment that can contribute to unhealthy relationships with food and eating disorders. Nutritionists and mental health professionals now encourage more neutral language that focuses on how foods make you feel or their nutritional content rather than associating them with moral worth. Your sandwich isn’t “bad,” and you’re not “cheating” by eating dessert.
10. Asking Couples “When Are You Having Kids?”
It seems like an innocent question when you’re catching up with friends or family who are in committed relationships: “So, when are you two going to have kids?” What you might not realize is that this question can be incredibly painful for couples experiencing infertility, those who have had miscarriages, people with medical conditions that prevent pregnancy, or those who simply don’t want children but face constant pressure about their choice.
Reproductive decisions are deeply personal, and no one owes you an explanation about their family planning. If someone wants to share their journey to parenthood—or their decision not to become parents—they’ll bring it up themselves. Until then, focus your conversation on things you know they’re comfortable discussing, and let them take the lead on sharing details about such personal matters.
11. Describing Yourself As “Bipolar” When Moody
“I’m so bipolar today—I was happy this morning and now I’m irritated!” Comments like this are commonplace, but they fundamentally misrepresent what bipolar disorder actually is. Bipolar disorder involves serious mood episodes that typically last weeks or months—not the normal mood fluctuations everyone experiences throughout a day.
When you casually use “bipolar” to describe ordinary mood changes, you’re trivializing a condition that causes genuine suffering for millions of people. People diagnosed with bipolar disorder often face discrimination and difficulty getting proper treatment partly because of these misconceptions about what their condition actually entails. Instead of reaching for clinical terminology, try describing your feelings more specifically: “My mood has been up and down today” or “I’m feeling irritable now even though I was in a good mood earlier.”
12. Describing Something As A “Cakewalk”
When you describe an easy task as a “cakewalk,” you’re probably not thinking about the term’s disturbing historical origins. This seemingly innocent phrase actually comes from events held on plantations during the era of American slavery, where enslaved people were forced to perform an exaggerated dancing competition for the entertainment of white onlookers, with cake offered as a prize.
What began as a mockery of enslaved people later evolved into minstrel shows that continued to dehumanize Black Americans through caricature and stereotype. There are plenty of alternatives to describe something easy—”piece of cake,” “walk in the park,” or simply “effortless”—that don’t carry this painful historical baggage. Making this small change in your vocabulary acknowledges how language can preserve harmful histories in ways we don’t intend.
13. Referring To Adults With Disabilities As “Special”
“What a special person” or “She’s differently abled” might sound like sensitive ways to talk about someone with a disability, but these euphemisms often come across as condescending and infantilizing to the very people they’re meant to respect. Terms like “special” have become particularly problematic because of their association with segregated educational settings and their tendency to emphasize difference in ways that feel othering.
Most disability advocates now prefer straightforward language that acknowledges disability as a natural part of human diversity rather than something to be hidden behind euphemisms. When relevant to the conversation, it’s usually better to name the specific disability or simply use the term “disabled person” or “person with a disability” (preferences vary within the community). And remember—most of the time, a person’s disability isn’t relevant to mention at all, just as you wouldn’t constantly reference other characteristics of non-disabled people.
14. Using “Crazy” Or “Insane” Casually
“That meeting was crazy!” “These prices are insane!” These phrases roll off the tongue so easily that you might not even register them as potentially problematic. But terms like “crazy,” “insane,” and “mental” all derive from descriptions of mental illness, and using them to describe everyday situations contributes to stigmatization.
People living with mental health conditions often find these casual uses hurtful, as they trivialize the very real challenges they face. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise terms—like “wild,” “surprising,” “intense,” or “outrageous”—not only makes your speech more inclusive but also more expressive. After all, why settle for overused words when you can be more creative and considerate at the same time?
15. Sending “Thoughts And Prayers” After Tragedies
When disaster strikes—whether it’s a mass shooting, natural disaster, or personal tragedy—you might instinctively respond with “sending thoughts and prayers.” It seems like a compassionate thing to say, but for many people, especially those directly affected by repeated tragedies where action is needed, this phrase has come to symbolize empty words without meaningful support or change.
The criticism isn’t about the sentiment itself but rather the perception that it’s become a substitute for tangible help or addressing root causes. If you genuinely want to express sympathy, consider adding something concrete—whether it’s a specific memory of the person lost, an offer of practical assistance, or information about how you’re supporting related causes. Thoughts and prayers might be part of your response, but they’re most meaningful when paired with action.
