Opinion: If You’re Not Comfortable Doing These Things With Your Boyfriend, You Shouldn’t Be Dating

Opinion: If You’re Not Comfortable Doing These Things With Your Boyfriend, You Shouldn’t Be Dating ©iStock/gilaxia

One of the best things about being in a relationship is being able to just be yourself. If you want to lay around in sweatpants and eat pizza three nights in a row while enjoying some couch cuddling with your boyfriend, it’s all good — he’ll still want to have sex with you at the end of the day. And while it takes a while to settle into any relationship, if you don’t feel comfortable doing any of these things with a guy you’ve been dating for months, there’s a serious problem:

  1. Peeing in the same bathroom. Sure, peeing while he’s in the same room may not be your ideal situation, but it also shouldn’t freak you out or ruin your day if he has to brush his teeth before heading out to work while you’re on the toilet. It’s really no big deal.
  2. Wearing three day old clothes. Clean laundry is important, but even the best of us get a little behind every once in a while when things are pretty hectic. If you’re off work and just feel like decompressing for a few days in the same clothes, who cares? Your partner shouldn’t.
  3. Kissing in the morning. If your partner doesn’t like your morning breath, that’s fair enough — after all, you’re probably not that fond of his, either — but that doesn’t mean he should refuse to kiss you when you first wake up. If you want that closeness but feel like he’s going to push you away, it may be time to reevaluate.
  4. Eating as much as you want. If you monitor what you consume with your partner in mind, get a grip. He’s not judging you based on how many calories you eat a day (and if he is, you’re in an abusive relationship). Don’t be afraid to eat what you want. If he has a problem with that, tell them to beat it — but leave the cheese fries.
  5. Laughing as loudly as you want. Don’t let your partner ever make you feel bad for laughing too loudly or being too obnoxious. You enjoy life and you’re not afraid to be who you are, wherever you are. Sure, there’s a time and a place for laying low, but don’t let some guy dull your shine.
  6. Ugly crying when you need to let it out. If you can’t cry in front of your partner, why are you with him? He  should always be your favorite shoulder to cry on and the one who’ll dry all your tears. You might feel a little self-conscious at first, but you shouldn’t worry that your once-in-a-blue-moon meltdowns are going to make him love you less or look at you differently.
  7. Being weird. Everyone has a weird and wild side. If you can’t express that in your relationship, what’s the point? Feeling comfortable enough to be weird and give voice to all those random, crazy thoughts are what make relationships so special. Let your freak flag fly with abandon!
  8. Having cranky moments. It’s a given that feeling irritable and cranky in front of your partner is going to happen, so he needs to be OK with it on the rare occasion it happens. Sure, there’s no excuse for treating him like crap, but if you occasionally get frustrated or over-stressed, you should know it’s OK to let him see that side of you.
  9. Saying whatever you’re thinking. You shouldn’t have to hold back your most inner thoughts with the one you love. It should be a given that no matter what you have on your mind, he’ll want to hear about it. After all, it’s how he gets to know you and how you build the love, trust and support between you.
  10. Wearing your heart on your sleeve. This is similar to the previous one, but still important to remember. Let your feelings for your partner shine through. You love him for who he is whole-heartedly, and if you’re not comfortable showing that or worry that he might reject your emotions, it’s time to move on.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia