I’m Not “Crazy” Just Because I Have Feelings, Dude

I’m so sick and tired of guys throwing the “crazy” word around whenever we call them out on their BS or do something they don’t like/can’t handle. It’s so ridiculous! I’m not overemotional, unstable, psychotic or insane — I just give a crap. Why is that so weird?

  1. I’m passionate. I love life and want to experience it fully. That means when I meet someone I feel good about, I want to jump into the experience. If I’m real about my feelings, it doesn’t mean I’m crazy, dude. Same goes for how I live my life. If I get up at dawn to go for a run or write a business plan or chat to my bestie, I’m not crazy just because it doesn’t fit in with his life. I’m living my fabulous life. If he can’t handle it, that’s his problem.
  2. I’d rather skip the games. I don’t make myself too available (no woman should), but that doesn’t mean I play hardcore games, like making the guy chase me until he’s tired or playing hot and cold with him. That’s such BS. I like to be real. If I like someone, I like him. I know it might freak him out because it’s so rare, but I wish he wouldn’t waste my time if he’d prefer being around women who play sick games. He can go and have fun with those “sane” women.
  3. I don’t have time for tepid. I’m not going to try to stop myself from feeling things. That’s just a crappy way to live. I’d rather feel everything instead of trying to be a certain way in order not to be called “crazy”. If he can’t handle my emotions, he can GTFO. I’m not a robot. I’m a human being.
  4. Life’s too short. Life is way too short to try to be normal. That’s just boring AF. I’d rather let my uniqueness shine. I’m not going to follow all the dating rules out there, for instance. I’m going to do my own thing because it’s my life. If that puts him off, then he’s not the right guy for me.
  5. There’s nothing wrong with wanting certain things. Sometimes guys call women crazy when they want things in a relationship, like the “girlfriend” title or a guy to call when he says he will. But wanting that is not crazy at all! If I’m going to enter into a relationship, I expect certain things and won’t be called “crazy” for wanting them. He’s a coward if he calls me crazy for wanting you to make a damn effort. He needs to just be honest and say he can’t handle a real relationship.
  6. I give a crap about myself. I care about myself and will not put up with crappy behavior. If he does something shady, I’m going to call him out on it. No, not because I’m crazy, but because I know what I deserve and won’t put up with anything less.
  7. He’s the one acting crazy. If he calls me crazy for being “too emotional” (that is, showing my feelings every now and then) or “clingy” when I’m really just showing him that I care, then he’s actually the crazy one. He’s projecting his own issues onto me. Maybe they’re commitment or trust issues, or maybe he’s just a jerk who’s not into anything real. Either way, he sucks.
  8. I speak my mind. I’m not afraid to voice my opinions and say what’s going on in my mind. This might be rare because so many people keep things to themselves, but I refuse to live my life like that. Speaking my mind doesn’t mean I’m going to disrespect anyone or act like a douchebag. It just means that I’m going to be honest — what he sees is what he gets. That’s not crazy, that’s the least you can expect from someone.
  9. I want to know who he is. I’m not a stalker or anything, but I like to get to know someone I’m dating. I want to ask them questions. It’s called being interested in someone. Maybe he’s reacting by calling me “crazy” for being so curious because he has something to hide.
  10. I’m going to lose it if he uses the “s” word. Too often, the word “crazy” is followed by the explanation that a woman is being “too sensitive.” This really gets on my nerves! If I’m getting upset about something or wanting to call him on something, I’m not sensitive — he made an insulting or sexist remark and I won’t stand for it. This isn’t “crazy,” it’s letting him know there’s a line he should NEVER cross.
  11. Yes, I double-texted him. Big deal. I’ve been around male friends who call women crazy or psycho because they call or text when the guy hasn’t got back to them. But did he ever think of the completely sane reasons why I might be doing this? Maybe he had a long way to drive home and it was really late when we finished our date and I wanted to be sure he got home safe. Or maybe I just had something really important to tell him, like that my grandfather died and I needed someone to talk to. Maybe he should get over himself before he calls me “crazy” for being a cool human being.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.