It’s Not Hard To Find A Boyfriend; It’s Hard To Find A Guy Who’s Worth Giving That Title

It’s not hard to find a boyfriend if that’s what you really want, but it is hard to find a guy you seriously want to be with and are willing to bestow such a title on because the good ones are few and far between. Why are there so few good ones? Let’s run down the list of what guys today are like and why very few of them are worth it.

  1. Many of them are very insecure. As women become stronger and more powerful, surpassing guys in pretty much every way and proving guys to be somewhat unnecessary, guys have become more insecure. Deep down, guys know they can’t hold a candle to the type of guy most women deserve and that, yes, their purpose is dwindling.
  2. Even more of them are angry AF. Even if you’re not a fan of Star Wars, you’ve probably come across the numerous articles about men complaining about—gasp!—the strong female characters in the movie. They’ve been complaining about it since The Force Awakens when Rey, a clearly badass character, happened to be a woman. Men are angry! Especially the mediocre white men in the United States who feel that women have zero right to be in positions of power, even in movies. That right there says A LOT about the caliber of guys from which to choose.
  3. Guys are lazier than they used to be. So lazy! They’re not just lazy in the way they approach life but in the way they approach relationships and love. In fact, most guys don’t even try anymore. They’re content with their mediocre jobs, their mediocre opinions, and their overall mediocrity, then they wonder why no woman wants to give them the “boyfriend” label.
  4. Trying to find a guy who respects himself, let alone women, is a feat. Sadly, respect has really gone out the window for not just guys but our society as a whole. In the last few months, as sexual harassment and sexual assault claims have come to light, in addition to the constant rape culture we’re up against, we can definitely point out fingers at guys and say they don’t respect women and, considering their behavior, they don’t respect themselves either.
  5. Lots of guys are more content to sit back and complain. Ugh. Talk about a bunch of crybabies, sitting back and complaining about how awful it is to be a guy, how they don’t get any respect, and how the Obama administration screwed them over. Oh, cry me a river. Respect is something that’s earned. Guys don’t seem to understand that sitting around in their parents’ basement, reading Men’s Rights Activist websites, makes them not exactly a prize.
  6. Many guys feel entitled to women. As much as it disgusts me to write them, there’s a decent percentage of guys out there who feel that they’re entitled to women. They firmly believe that women were put on this earth for them and should we not be interested in them, we’re bitches, whores, or some other completely unoriginal adjective. They really don’t get it at all, making them far from boyfriend material.
  7. Losers and fuckboys are ruining everything. What’s a fuckboy? Well, if the word itself doesn’t give it away, it’s a guy who has zero interest in a relationship, preferring to casually date, string along and sleep with whatever he wants. Sure, a fuckboy might be up to the challenge of being your boyfriend, but no woman in her right mind would settle for such a garbage fire.
  8. A lot of guys have yet to grasp the whole equality thing. I’ve come to believe that there are no male feminists… except Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and French President Emmanuel Macron, and like 25 other men in the world. While there may be male feminist allies, most men who claim to be feminist are only feminist when it suits them. So, sure, any woman can go out tonight and get herself a guy, but who wants to be with someone who doesn’t understand that, in being part of the patriarchy, they’re part of the problem? You don’t want to give the title of “boyfriend” to someone who doesn’t understand they’re part of the problem.
  9. Far too many suffer from mediocre white man syndrome. Oh, the fragility of masculinity! In a world where there are so many strong, badass women who can take care of themselves, men are starting to feel inferior – although they’d never admit it, of course. No self-respecting woman would ever, in a million years, lower herself or put herself on mute to appease a guy who’s threatened by her success. So no self-respecting woman would date let alone be in a relationship with a guy who suffers from mediocre white man syndrome.
  10. Guys are no longer a commodity. What value guys once had is gone. They’re a dime a dozen and the handful of guys who have risen out of the mediocre masses are, as I said above, few and far between. What this means is the prospect of finding a guy who deserves the title “boyfriend” is on par with finding a unicorn. But, I think most of us would rather hold out for a unicorn, than settle for the average angry Joe who resents his female partner for being better than him.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.