I’m Not “Hard To Read” — You Just Need To Make An Effort To Get To Know Me

Relationships take work, and I don’t want a guy who isn’t willing to put in the effort. So when you tell me that I’m “too hard to read,” that’s basically the same as saying, “I don’t want to take the time to figure you out.” If that’s the case, then we have no chance.

  1. We barely know each other. You don’t know me well enough to call me “hard to read.” What are you basing this assumption on — the fact that it took me a few minutes to pick a restaurant? Or was it the time I spent 30 minutes in silence because you were babbling on and on about the interior of your truck? The only thing you could’ve learned about me was that I’m indecisive and know nothing about cars — accurate! It’s a shame that you put me in a category without actually getting to know me.
  2. My emotions aren’t always on display. It’s not like I’m an emotionless robot — I just don’t necessarily wear my heart (or my feelings) on my sleeve. If you catch me off guard, I may look a little intimidating (I have my resting bitch face to thank for that). I’m not going to apologize for the expression my face makes when I’m relaxed and I shouldn’t have to. You’re really going to draw a conclusion about me because I’m not skipping around the grocery store with a smile on my face? That’s not fair! My emotions are just that, mine — I don’t have to show them to you if I don’t want to.
  3. You’ve made me question myself even though I know I’m not in the wrong. It really hurts my feelings that you think I’m too hard to read. I know I’m not the most emotional person, but I didn’t know that meant I was hard to figure out. Thanks to you, I’m now overanalyzing every relationship I’ve ever had. I’ve dated guys before who knew exactly what I was thinking before I even did — they could read me without a problem! So it’s not me — you’re only deeming me “hard to read” because you don’t want to take the time to get to know me.
  4. If you’re struggling to read me, ask me for help. Even if I was hard to read, there’s nothing wrong with that, and yet you make it sound like an insult. There’s an easy way around the issue, anyway. If you’re having a hard time reading me, why don’t you just ask me a direct question? There’s an idea!
  5. I’ve never had trouble getting my point across to anyone else. There’s no such thing as being “too hard to read” — it’s a matter of opinion. My friends, family, and few of my exes have ever had a problem understanding my so called “complicated” mind. You know what that tells me? You need to work a little harder to understand me. Human beings are complex and you have to be willing to peel back the layers to get to the really good stuff.
  6. I feel like you don’t really want to put in the work. If you really wanted to get to know me, you’d try! You would ask questions and spend more than five minutes talking to me before writing me off as unreadable. It feels like you’re just making excuses so that you’re not the bad guy when we stop hanging out. This way, when your friends ask what went wrong, you’ll be able to say, “I liked her, but she was just too hard to read.” And of course they’ll understand completely.
  7. I only “open up” to those who earn it. “I don’t know what it is about you. Usually, I know exactly what people are thinking, but I can’t seem to figure you out… open up to me!” Pause. I’m about as difficult to read as a picture book. Having said that, I do have walls up and they don’t just fall down after a first date. Maybe you’re having a difficult time reading me because WE JUST MET. Why would you expect me to be open with someone I barely know? You could be related to the Zodiac Killer for all I know. Sorry dude, but I’m not going to upon up before I know your what your middle name is.
  8. Please don’t compare me to other girls. The only reason you think I’m hard to read is because you’ve never dated a girl like me. I don’t walk around with a big grin on my face, laughing hysterically at everything you say. I’m different than other girls — and no, that doesn’t mean I think I’m better. Some women just need a little extra time to get comfortable. Would you rather me be the kind of girl who calls you her boyfriend after the first date? I don’t think so. Please don’t categorize me as “hard to read” simply because you’ve never had to work this hard before.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.