Opinion: No, I’m Not Jealous Of Your Relationship, Just Tired Of Hearing You Brag About It Online

ikes.I “like” posts my friends share on social media about how happy they are to get engaged or move into a new home with their spouse — that’s sharing, not bragging. Bragging is when all you’re doing is talking about your “perfect” relationship and boyfriend with the ulterior motive of getting an ego boost from it. It’s annoying AF and needs to stop.

You’re not the first person to be in love. The excitement, the butterflies, the waxing lyrical about your boyfriend — we’ve all been there, but we wrote about it in our diaries or shared it with our closest friends in real life. You’re splashing all this love stuff online and you sound like a lovesick teenager. It’s even worse if your boyfriend doesn’t have a Facebook account to see what you’re posting about him. Why do it then? It’s like you just want to get l

You’re trying to show everyone up. When you’re boasting about your relationship, engagement or boyfriend who surprised you with a trip to Italy because he’s got such an amazing career that affords him such spontaneous luxuries, it’s like you’re trying super hard to win Best Couple On Social Media award. It reeks of desperation and is obnoxious, to boot. Calm down. It’s not a competition.

You’re more interested in getting attention than sharing love with your partner. Do we really need to know all that personal stuff you’re experiencing with your boyfriend? It starts to feel like you’re more interested in getting approval than sharing an intimate moment with your boyfriend — which should be done in real life, away from prying eyes.

We don’t need the trivial announcements. Imagine if Facebook was a room filled with all your real-life friends, colleagues and acquaintances. Now imagine your status updates are you walking into that room and declaring something about your life. Would you do that for any little thing that happens, like when your boyfriend buys you a microwave or makes you a cup of coffee? No, because it’s TMI. So why should you do that online?

It’s a little suspicious. If you’re talking about your perfect relationship all the time, it’s a little weird. Why are you trying so hard to look like you have a movie-like relationship? What are you hiding? I can’t help but wonder…

A happy relationship is great but it doesn’t make you a better person. Sorry to say, but a happy relationship isn’t a grand achievement. Sure, it’s a blessing and you’re lucky to find love in this world of hookups and dodgy dating apps, but it’s not like you have to act like you’re a better or more successful person because of it. You’re in a relationship, yes, but it’s not the only thing that defines you so don’t act like it is. Stay humbled.

You might be insecure. Research published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin journal found that anxious people are more likely to engage in deliberately trying to show people that they’re in a relationship. I’ll just leave that here.

There’s such a thing as too much of a good thing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bitter or jealous. I’m really happy for you that you’re moving in with your wonderful boyfriend or that he proposed in front of the Eiffel Tower (the sky and your dress were beautiful in the 41 pics you posted of that moment, BTW). Still, please stop writing about your relationship in every single post. I love chocolate, but I know not to eat it every hour because it will make me feel sick. Know what I’m saying?

You don’t need social media to define your relationshipI promise, your relationship will be just as great if you take a social media sabbatical. Hell, it might even be better. If that idea freaks you out, maybe you’re placing way too much importance on defining your relationship by how it looks online.

How would you feel if people bragged about being single? Imagine if single women posted updates about how great single life is every damn hour. From the benefits of not having to deal with a boyfriend’s BS or hair in the bath to how they don’t have to share a bed with anyone, it would start to feel defensive or like preaching. Women in relationships might even start to wonder why single women have got to be so damn annoying about their lives. Well, guess what — if you’re in a relationship and bombing us with all the love, you’re doing the same thing. Just because you’re in a relationship, bragging doesn’t become more acceptable.

At least share some of the rest of your lifeDon’t make every post, picture and status update about your relationship. You’re giving the impression that it’s the only thing you’re happy about and the only thing that makes you special. We’d like to know more about who you are and what you’re about, how your studies are going, and how your family’s doing… without needing to hear about your boyfriend every five seconds. God, it’s like you’re the girlfriend who only talks about her relationship on a girls’ night out. Don’t be that girl. She’s about to get blocked on Facebook.

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