I’m Not Lowering My Standards Just Because The Alternative Is Being Single

For the longest time, people have told me that I’m “too picky” and that I should consider lowering my standards in order to find the type of guy I expect to be my forever partner. Common phrases like “Good luck with that!” and “A guy like that doesn’t even exist!” have plagued my ears for years and I’m sick of the negativity. I’m not “too picky” and my standards aren’t out of this world. I truly believe that the type of guy I’m looking for is out there. If he isn’t, I’d rather be alone.

  1. I refuse to believe all guys are lazy. I’ve been treated to some pretty lazy attempts at dating and though guys who half-ass love are really annoying, I refuse to believe that all guys are the same. I’ve met the bad apples and the guys who make little to no effort to show me they actually care, but I know there are guys out there who will actually go above and beyond to put a smile on my face in a relationship, just as I would for them.
  2. I’ve met the good guys before so I know there are some out there. I know plenty of guys who are great at dating and great in relationships, and even though I haven’t been matched with a guy like that yet, I do know I deserve a good quality man. They might be harder to come by, but I’m okay with being on my own until the right guy with the qualities and manners I’m looking for comes along. I’m not so desperate to not be alone that I would even think about settling for someone or something less.
  3. This is my life and therefore my choices to make. I don’t understand how my expectations for the love I want in my life is any concern to anyone else or why so many people choose to express their opinions on my supposed radical expectations. All I want is a love that includes two people who make effort, respect each other and make each other a top priority in life. Is that really too much to ask for these days? If it is, then I’ll happily die alone first.
  4. I expect genuine kindness. One of the most challenging parts about dating these days is the lack of respect people have for each other and I’ve unfortunately met a few too many dudes who treated me like crap for no good reason. I’m over it. I don’t believe that kindness and respect is asking for too much. In fact, I believe it should be a natural habit for anyone but it seems like no one cares anymore and are only out to please themselves. I refuse to be part of the problem, so I’ll gladly hold out until someone who’s worthwhile actually comes into my life.
  5. I’ve braved enough jerks to know I deserve what I’m looking for. I truly do feel like I’ve done my time dating every jerk imaginable and I’m going to eventually be rewarded for my struggles with a guy who truly treats me well and loves me in a real way. I’m not on any type of high horse and my expectations aren’t high maintenance. I simply want a love life for myself that I’ll be content with until my last breath.
  6. Settling isn’t an option. I know I could settle at any point and change who I am to make it work with any random guy, but I know better now. I may have made mistakes in the past of dating douchebag guys over and over again but I’m at the point now that I fully understand how idiotic those experiences were. I shouldn’t have to change who I am just to have someone in my life and I shouldn’t have to bite my tongue and lower my self-worth just to feel like I’m following the norms of being part of a couple. So what if I’m alone in my thirties? I’d rather be alone and happy with myself than miserable with someone who doesn’t truly deserve me.
  7. I’m allowed to have high expectations because I bring a lot to the table. I feel like I’ve earned the right to have higher expectations because in the absence of a committed love life, I’ve commanded my life in all sorts of ways. I’m pretty proud of the woman I am, the career I slay and the life I’ve built around me full of hobbies and earnings of my own free will. I know what I bring to the table and until I find the guy who matches my hustle and morals about love, I’m not afraid to eat alone.
  8. If a guy wants into my life, he needs to step up to the plate to be there. It’s that simple. I’m completely over the lazy attempts at dating in this lame modern dating culture and if I need to duck out of the races to avoid more disappointment, I’m happy to do so. I’m not willing to accept half-assed efforts or jump on board with hookup culture protocols, so until a real man with good intentions and a willingness to step up and show me something different shows up, I’m done with the nonsense.
  9. I’m not in any rush because I’m content with myself. I don’t need to lower my standards because contrary to popular belief about single women, I’m actually pretty damn happy with where I’m at. I’m living a fulfilling and happy life on my own and as much as I’d love to finally find a special person to share my life with, I’m okay with being alone. I might have high standards to some people but I’ll never lower them just to have a guy in my life. Sorry, not sorry.